Photo by Alireza Attari on Unsplash It was rather unexpected. There we were, at what was only our third or fourth meeting in 2019. As mentioned in an earlier post, this rag-tag bunch of fathers who have special needs children, were still getting to know each other. Gathering to bond over shared parenting experiences and … Continue reading Do I say “my son HAS autism” or “my son IS autistic”? It’s really up to him
Photo by MD Duran on Unsplash This is a cautionary tale about what happens when men come together. Cautionary, at least, for men like me who are more into 'being' than 'doing'. Let me explain. I still remember the meetings. A few of us fathers with special needs children started coming together in 2019 to … Continue reading Even with special needs dads, it’s still about men ‘doing’ not ‘being’
Autism happens daily Autism happens dailyIt never goes away.Ten years have passed soDon't tell me It'll leave.That you got no right to say. For I see itI live itI breathe itEvery single day. With my sonHis toy road humpsSprawled on this floor Or that tableEvery which way. Autism happens dailyIt never goes away.We're still learning … Continue reading My Monday Metrical Musings #16
This is potentially the "mother" of all autism questions! And were you to ask me if there was another more frightening one for a parent, I honestly can't think of it right now. All I know is that this question never crossed my mind before. Not until I came across it recently in an account … Continue reading “Dad, is my ‘exile’ into the land of autism eternal?”
Hey man The new school year is underway and you're probably starting to feel the heat, am I right? Well, let's get straight to it and figure things out, shall we? Remember when J used to say that Primary 2 (P2) was the best year ever? Well, he's right. Cos the change from P2 to … Continue reading Warning letter for the new school year – from an older, wiser me!
Dear C Earlier this week, on the way to school, you started humming along to Sting's "An Englishman in New York" on Spotify. But instead of "New York", you later replaced it with "Bedok", a town twice removed from where we live, and at least two million times removed from the Big Apple herself! When … Continue reading “An Englishman in Bedok” – Letter to C as he turns 10
"BUT WHAT CAN I HOLD?!!" My peaceful early morning was shattered by those five words, belted out at the top of my son's lungs. They were followed by a mumbo-jumbo of incoherence that I couldn't quite catch. Not from where I was comfortably seated in my morning "throne room" anyway. But I needn't strain too … Continue reading To “get” my son’s autism, I must go “small”
Dear C In the blink of an eye, you've moved up another primary school level. Congrats!! And your school even made the distinction very clear this time by moving you to a totally different campus. So, not only must you adjust to a new class with new friends and teachers, you have to adjust to … Continue reading How this stay-home-dad braved yet another first day of school.
A small speck in the universe Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com Being part of something bigger is what everyone's experienced at least once in our lives, whether we recognise it then or not. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it's part of every human's DNA that we aspire towards being … Continue reading Connecting Caregivers – finally meeting a very special & overdue need
I'm not a good parent. In fact, I often display downright ugly parenting! Why? Because I'm prone to violence, even if nine out of ten times I never follow through with what I'm tempted to do. And as for that tenth time that I do follow through? Let's just say that after my son gets … Continue reading The truth about ugly parenting – Alternation