In the blink of an eye, I’ve spent nine months carewatching my spouse since her cancer diagnosis and surgery back in August 2025.
What’s that? Don’t I mean caregiving? Well, no. Not really.
There are many moments I feel not just inadequate, but downright helpless whenever she’s in bodily discomfort and even pain. As much as I would love to take over her pain (though my dentist would swear on a bible my pain tolerance is worse than a kid’s!), I cannot.
And so “carewatching” is the phrase I use instead (can I patent this?) to describe how I show up for her.
Realities of Carewatching
In August 2025 when I first posted about her cancer diagnosis and subsequent surgery and treatment, my feelings were running amok and it was truly difficult to write. In fact I had to password-protect the posts cos they were so raw and painful, that I didn’t want anyone else to read them. (I might even have forgotten the password now myself!).
Over time, as she slowly recovered while undergoing chemo and various treatments, our family’s had to adjust to living with the prospect of cancer returning. Not how we had envisioned our lives shortly after moving to our new abode at the end of July 2025.
For what it’s worth, the journey so far has generally been smooth and better than expected. As of now, there are no signs that any cancer has returned. And naturally we’ll like to keep it that way. On most days, it even feels like this cancer thing was some nightmare we had. A moment never to be repeated.
Still, other realities have crept in along the way that remind us of our frail humanity.
For one, it’s clear my spouse’s health and fitness has taken a beating. She’s now more prone to headaches, migraines and body aches. She also gets mysterious leg soreness or abdominal discomforts. Though these typically don’t last past a day or two, their increased frequency do warrant close monitoring.
Of course it might simply be a natural process of aging. But when one has cancer, everything that subsequently happens after the diagnosis invariably makes us ask if there might be some connection here we’re unaware of.
For me, that’s all part of my carewatching.
Take Care. Cancer Everywhere Is On The Rise!
An unexpected ‘windfall’ that’s part of this whole care-watching is seeing how one cancer diagnosis often “attracts” others.
Over the past nine months, I have lost count how many other cancer stories have come through our doors. From neighbours to relatives to friends to ex-colleagues.
In fact, yesterday I attended the wake of a dear ex-colleague who passed on two days ago, some three months after being diagnosed with Stage Four Lung Cancer. It was shocking and devastating for many of us who worked with and knew this wonderful 67 year old lady well.
Unfortunately, cancer is definitely on the rise. And sadly, not just among the elderly but especially among the young.
Data from the Singapore Cancer Registry Annual Report showed that between 2019 and 2023, there were 4,995 cancer diagnoses for those under 40. This was a 34 per cent increase from the years between 2003 and 2007, when the number stood at 3,729.
Between 1968 and 1972, the earliest period on record in the report, the number of cancers for people under 40 diagnoses was just 1,710.
This reflects a global trend.
According to data from the Global Burden of Disease study, published by the Seattle-based Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation, there was a 79 per cent increase in early-onset cancer worldwide between 1990 and 2019.
Why the rise? Emerging evidence points to changes in the early-life exposome (a term referring to all environmental exposures over the course of an individual’s life) as likely contributing factors.
These include the rise in ultra-processed foods consumed, obesity, sedentary lifestyles and alterations to the gut microbiome.
As someone who regularly experiences abdominal discomforts myself, I can vouch for the importance of watching what we eat (though admittedly I don’t do enough to carewatch my own food intake).
Carewatching Myself For A Longer Life
By 2030, one out of every four persons here will be 65 years old and above. Clearly, the wellbeing and care of my nation’s aging population will soon become her biggest challenge.
Closer to home, as I carewatch my spouse daily, and how she works on developing healthy habits like eating more sourdough rather than factory-processed bread, making her own juices, preparing more homecooked meals than eating out, I realise I too must carewatch my own health to ensure a longer life.
For my sake, her sake and the sake of our children.
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