[An edited version of this post first appeared here.] C: “Mister Miss Fairy!” Me: “Carrots and Potatoes…” His older brother: “…with Beef Stew!” These are words my sons and I say to each other whenever C is upset, feels threatened, or thinks he’s in trouble. And to diffuse the situation and reassure him, I would respond with the … Continue reading From ‘Aware’ to ‘Accept’ – my unfinished autism journey
Category: Parenting
Want inclusion for a more gracious society? Restore don’t punish
Last Saturday I wrote a post about my response (as a parent of an autistic son) to a recent bullying incident in my country that received a lot of media attention. The victim in that incident was an autistic teenager who had graduated from the same school my son's now in. An edited version of … Continue reading Want inclusion for a more gracious society? Restore don’t punish
How one special needs father’s response to bullying is about society’s “greater good”
Photo by Morgan Basham on Unsplash As bullying incidents go, the one that made headlines in Singapore this week wasn't unusual. After all, most of us are already predisposed to believe that bullies will always exist, just like bad hair days. And we all know there are more incidents like this not reported or made … Continue reading How one special needs father’s response to bullying is about society’s “greater good”
Email circa 2031: My dear sons, beware “The Toxic 12” – #11 The “Personals”
Hi boys Surprise Surprise! I'm back with my next email sooner than expected. Could be some kind of momentum built up from my last email. Also, I'm motivated by the fact that this series on "The Toxic 12" is almost at an end, so I'm definitely looking forward to finally wrapping it up. Bet you … Continue reading Email circa 2031: My dear sons, beware “The Toxic 12” – #11 The “Personals”
Email circa 2031: My dear sons, beware “The Toxic 12” – #10 The “Professionals”
Hi boys Didn't think you'll get this latest "toxic" email so soon again did you? See, your dad is capable of keeping his word. I've kept this one in the back burners for quite a while, but the time has come now to spill the beans on one of two adult working world's biggest "liars" … Continue reading Email circa 2031: My dear sons, beware “The Toxic 12” – #10 The “Professionals”
Do I say “my son HAS autism” or “my son IS autistic”? It’s really up to him
Photo by Alireza Attari on Unsplash It was rather unexpected. There we were, at what was only our third or fourth meeting in 2019. As mentioned in an earlier post, this rag-tag bunch of fathers who have special needs children, were still getting to know each other. Gathering to bond over shared parenting experiences and … Continue reading Do I say “my son HAS autism” or “my son IS autistic”? It’s really up to him
Even with special needs dads, it’s still about men ‘doing’ not ‘being’
Photo by MD Duran on Unsplash This is a cautionary tale about what happens when men come together. Cautionary, at least, for men like me who are more into 'being' than 'doing'. Let me explain. I still remember the meetings. A few of us fathers with special needs children started coming together in 2019 to … Continue reading Even with special needs dads, it’s still about men ‘doing’ not ‘being’
Email circa 2031: My dear sons, beware “The Toxic 12” – #9 The Non-finishers
Hey boys I'm sorry. This is becoming a habit for me, isn't it? Since my last post on this series, two months have elapsed! I think it's a new record. It's just that so much has been occupying my mind of late, with writing ideas pouring forth like water from a busted dam. I can … Continue reading Email circa 2031: My dear sons, beware “The Toxic 12” – #9 The Non-finishers
“Happy Valentines Day son!” – Letter to him when the time comes
Happy Valentines Day, son!Yes, your dear old man can't help but notice that February 14 is here again.Since you're now of age to date, I thought it's high time I shared my Valentines Day experience with you, in hopes it'll help you navigate the sea of love.I remember well the stress I had as a … Continue reading “Happy Valentines Day son!” – Letter to him when the time comes
Brothers are (almost) as important as parents
Of the few sparks to be found from this still-ongoing global pandemic, one that's definitely making it into my books was watching my sons grow closer to each other as brothers. If nothing else, it made me see anew the plus point of having both my kids being of the same gender, born a mere … Continue reading Brothers are (almost) as important as parents