In the blink of an eye, the annual April Autism Acceptance Month has come and (is about to be) gone. And I came close to almost forgetting all about it!
Despite setting a personal goal to always write at least one post every April that talks about my daily ongoing journey as a caregiver to my son C, who was diagnosed with it nearly a decade ago.
Sigh.
Blame it on life, and a new teaching contract. Or should I say two contracts! Commencing this past week, with subject briefings the week prior, I guess I let April nearly slip past me.
Nearly.
Allow me now to rectify this oversight before April makes way for May.
Transporting the Autism Way
My son C has been gaining more independence this past couple of months in the area of transportation.
Compared to never traveling to school solo (except for one single trip home on the last day of school in 2025), our friend has now been, since the start of 2026, taking the public bus to and from school by himself for at least half of the time each school week.
May not seem much to most folks (and if I’m being honest, that includes me too!), but for a timid 15 year old with autism, it’s no mean feat.
While he still likes me to accompany him to the bus stop when he’s catching the bus to school, I’m at least heartened that he no longer protesteth like he did at the start of this year. Back then, he would whine and list down all the reasons why he should continue to be chauffeured to school in daddy’s car. One major reason is he enjoys listening to his Spotify music playlist on the car stereo sound system. No other forms of listening — airpods, phone — will do.
Other reasons are his unwillingness to share bus seats with strangers, and the sharp sound made each time passengers hit the buzzer to signal to the bus driver they wish to alight at the next stop.
Now, on bus rides, he would replace listening to music with silent mutters under his breath while making furtive glances at passengers that board and alight. And he would wear his noise-reducing ear muffs to minimise the sound of those annoying buzzers.
With those coping “mechanisms” in place, he’s been able to endure the hour-long bus ride to and from school.
Eventually, we hope he will take the bus everyday and I can stop being his chauffeur.
Of Playing With Lego And Watching Youtubes
At the ripe old age of 15 now, C still plays actively with his gazillion small pieces of lego toys that often find themselves under my foot. Despite multiple warnings from me and his mom, it’s clear this is his “safe space” and “must go-to” for recreation and fun. If he only plays Lego in his bedroom, then at least the “minefield” is localised. The problem is he likes to play it in our living and dining rooms, despite our insistence that he doesn’t.
Which results in messy Legos everywhere! And many a stubbed toe too!
Were he still six or seven years old, a stern warning or two would suffice to contain the problem. At 15, he’s a lot older and more defiant. And, unfortunately for us, more capable of defying instructions that he dislikes.
Coupled with this messy play habit is his love for watching lego action figures on looped Youtube videos for at least 30-60 minutes daily. And not just Legos. He would also watch videos on moving buses and football memes. Oh and of course his weekly Combat Online computer game.
While it’s hard for a parent to dispute the allure of Lego and computer games for kids, I am always thinking, “what’s next?” Is Lego to be his forever companion during daylight hours, in between Youtube and school? Despite trying for years to diversify his experiences — outdoor play, fiction books (he still only reads non-fiction books, mainly on buses or football), arts and crafts — C always returns to these few loves, and rarely budges.
Inter-Personal Communication Skills & EQ
Same goes for his ability to engage in reciprocal conversation. Or rather the inability to.
Admittedly, he’s shown marked improvements in making his felt needs heard and understood. And he’s now very good at relating what happened in school (though still hardly any proffered info about school work). Or rather, ratting out his classmates for misbehaviour! But when it comes to hearing what we need from him and when we converse with him about other stuff, he still draws a blank. Or rather, he flits back to his own pet topics of interest. Like he wasn’t interested or he was just bored with what we want to talk about.
One thing he is consistently good at though is eavesdropping! So his mom and I could be talking adult stuff and he would suddenly repeat what we said or ask us what we were talking about. His hearing is so acute, he can even make out what we said while being in a different room!
But his interest in our conversations is rarely sustained, and soon he would retreat back to his own world.
Sigh. This will continue to be one work-in-progress between C and us.
Autism Adocacy Continues
Last week, a medical doctor and mother of a child with autism, wrote a letter to the local daily. That letter reminded me yet again how the road to full societal acceptance and inclusion for persons like her child and mine remain a long one.
In it she shared that her child and the therapist accompanying him were turned away by a mall’s on-site security personnel. Reason? He was making noise. What really happened was that the boy had shrilled in delight twice during a children’s event. To the security, that represented disturbance and he needed to leave. This was despite the fact that the space around him was anything but crowded!
It’s hard not to feel a sense of injustice. To some, major strides have taken place in bringing more awareness of the autism condition to the general public in recent years. And yet, when we hear such tales from fellow parents, we know that the advocacy mill must continue to churn. Those of us fortunate enough to have loved ones with special needs like autism and ADHD, who daily school us in empathy and understanding, must continue to give them a voice and fight for them to have equal rights in public communal spaces.
Whether it’s writing to the press. Launching campaigns. Or just talking to anyone who would stop to hear us. We mustn’t give up, be our efforts big or small.
I hope that I’ll never be too caught up in my own stuff to forget April again, let alone advocating for my son again and again.
Even as I learn daily how to help him mature and assimilate into society.
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