Yesterday was Teacher’s Day here. I’ve never “celebrated” it much, though I’ve been teaching for over two decades. Chief reason being the day always fall in between semesters (given the academic schedule of the tertiary institutions I teach in). So both myself and my students are always on a break this time of year, and have no occasion to meet and observe the day.
This week, I feel even more that there’s no reason left for me to even consider observing this day as anything to do with me.
Because I have conclusive evidence now that I’ve passed my “expiration date” as a teacher! (Yes, I believe there is such a date. At least for me)
In a mini series I wrote (beginning with this one last August) about my teaching challenges, I said over three posts (the last was written just four months ago) that teaching is increasingly looking like something I should quit soon before it gets downright unpleasant.
What I didn’t realise was that I was already in the realm of the “unpleasant” at the time of that writing, And that I was well past my run-out date!
Let me explain.
How My Teaching Unravelled
In April this year, I wrote a post that spoke of my thrill in returning to teach at an institution I hadn’t taught in for the past three years.
It was a thrill mainly because my firstborn was starting his own education journey in that same institution at the same time. Talk about fortuitous!
It was a dizzy feeling being able to have a memorable father-son moment when we both stepped onto the campus grounds on Day 1 of school together. Him to his new classes as a freshman. Me to my new classes as a returning lecturer.
But that moment turned out to be fleeting.
Throughout the semester, which lasted from middle of April to middle of last month, I’ve had an unfortunate run. The lack of connection with the students (thanks to our ever-expanding age gap) has proven to be a major stumbling block. This was aided by the fact my module was merely a Pass/Fail course that contributed zip to my students’ GPAs.
Needless to say, their attention was certainly elsewhere for much of the time I had with them.
What Can I Say? I HATE Inattention!
Of course, I did what I could to keep things humming along. I was also trying very hard not to let the ubiquitous, always-powered-on personal learning devices in the room (that were also “humming along”) bother me. After all, the “ship” to prevent these devices from invading classrooms everywhere had “long since sailed”. Thanks especially to Covid, but it’s something that’s actually been going on for more than a decade prior.
In the end, I think it was the lack of attentiveness I desired from my students that really wore me down this recent teaching stint.
Sadly, my displeasure showed up in ways that resulted in some downright cruel post-semester anonymous online student feedback. The nastiest I’ve ever received in all my 20-odd years of teaching!
Fair warning: the comments I’m reposting below from my students may “alarm” you.
Still with me? Okay, then let’s dive in!
Am I A “XS C*nt” Or “Chirpy And Nice”?!
“Maybe don’t roll eyes at me.
Less sarcastic and condescending.
Stop being so rude.
Very passive aggressive.
…he’s a bit scary and overbearing.
His voice is too loud and extreme.
…tell him to regulate his emotions better and not get mad over every little thing that happens. And he can’t get pissed at everything and anything.
…hes (sic) the biggest manchild at the ripe age of 60, he got angry when a few people didnt (sic) come to his lesson. and decided to take out his anger on us, he is not fit to teach in any subject…
…his stinky attitude. HE SHOULD CHANGE HIS NAME TO MIKE HUNT*.
He’s XS C*NT!“
*(say this name in double quick time to catch the vulgar reference)
These were the no holds barred comments I received last month. They easily qualify as the worst I’ve seen in over 20 years of teaching!
In some twisted way, I should feel pretty ‘honoured’ that they would take time to bestow their vilest cruelty on me. Clearly I struck a nerve in more than one student.
On the opposite end of the commentaries, student also say I’m…
“…chirpy and nice.
…very engaging and fun during lessons.
…enthusiastic and explains the content in an engaging and easy–to–understand way.
…(someone who) interacts with students a LOT, shares about himself as well, really cares about his students, slightly humorous.
…a fun and engaging lecturer where he makes his classes interesting with his own characteristics and i (sic) was able to understand the topics of the subject effectively.
…(a lecturer who) did well in making the lessons interesting and relatable.“
So exactly which am I? “XS C*unt”? Or “nice and chirpy”? (Or am I both?!)
Teaching Has Lost Its Lustre For Me
Looking back over my decades of teaching, and these recent feedback, I’m not sure if there’s any other way to look at this issue other than the reality that I should either quit now or push through.
If you ask me this moment, I’ll likely pick the former. After all, I’m not young anymore. I’ll be 60 in less than four years! So I don’t think ‘pushing through’ is the way to go. Not unless I want to age faster than I already am!
Yet, quitting this moment feels like admitting defeat. Like those cruel comments have me cornered. Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place!
But this is what the profession of teaching has degenerated into today.
Students conditioned to be unfiltered in their thoughts and expressions, thanks to the online world and parents too busy working to raise their kids to be modest, moral beings. School management and board of directors, less concerned with teachers’ well-being and more concerned with quantitative algorithmic teacher-assessment feedback loops and the well-being of students, thanks to heightened awareness of youth mental health issues in recent times. Technology that constantly forces educators today to do more to adapt to and adopt the latest edutech tools. And to innovate at breakneck speed, or risk obsolescence.
A teacher literally has to be a big teddy bear in the classroom while doing impossible circus stunts to get “gold star” evaluations from their pupils who seem to hold more sway these days over the future of a teacher’s career in their anonymous keyboard warrior hands.
Well, I’m no teddy bear. Nor am I limber enough for somersaults. And, unlike today’s students, I don’t have adults (school management board) who have my back anymore.
So I guess the writing’s on the wall huh?
Or should I say the online classroom bulletin board?
Yep. Teaching has truly and finally lost its lustre on me, so time to go.
If you enjoyed reading my thoughts and wish to support what I do, please consider donating, using the button below.
Thank you so much!
