It was supposed to be my day to retreat away to ponder and blog.
But as it is I’m finding myself now blogging two days later, having been on the fly as I juggle several things these past 48 hours. Not many would appreciate that being a full-time stay home dad (and son) can really be a juggling act throughout the whole day, everyday. Even though the kids are in school the whole morning, and my mom is at the elder day care centre from 9 to 5, it doesn’t mean that there aren’t bills to pay, forms to fill, applications to submit, and a whole host of other individual and domestic matters to attend to.
I regret those days in the past when I used to envy others I know of who quit their jobs to live the life of a tai-tai (lady of leisure). Yes, many like me use tai-tai now to describe anyone of either gender who’s not in full-time employment cause it saves time amongst us (familiar with local parlance) when describing to each other someone we know who’s cho bo (doing nothing)!
Cause chances are high that there’s someone out there now who’s describing me or those like me in exactly the same way. Oh how it hurts now when the shoe’s on the other foot! There is nothing ‘cho bo’ about waking up early every morning to fetch my son to school, housekeeping, replying messages that can come at you from any and every direction; from various government bodies, school teachers, family, friends, ex-colleagues, etc.
Then when the afternoons arrive, bringing with it the return of my kids from school and my mom from her day care centre, the homework and caregiving routines begin. Making sure the kids stay on track to prepare for spelling tests, exams, and completing the day’s homework (either from their teachers or from us their parents!), before they can have their play time, TV time, reading time, etc. Ensuring my mom takes her meds and gets enough quiet and rest from my noisy boys.
All these can really take its toll on a person!
The long and short of it all is that I am worn down and finding it harder and harder to keep up this momentum of blogging twice a week. Worse thing is my writing coach had advised 1.5 pgs (750 words) everyday for five days a week? That just leaves me with two days to rest before the grind starts again!
So as I push this post out, I think I need a time-out and a re-think of how best I can straddle this. Oh, and to top it all off, I’ve taken on a part-time teaching role starting next week. Which probably means I’m going to be even more tired and less inclined to write, and more inclined to ‘nua’ (laze around) after a hard day’s work.
Where oh where will I find the time and energy to pursue my writing dreams now?
