Kelvin's Musings

- I am a writer. I am a writer. I am a writer.
  
  Posted at 8:26 pm by Kelbungy, on June 10, 2020
  
  “I am a writer. I am a writer. I am a writer.”
  
  Successful author and writing coach Jeff Goins reminded me that this is the mantra I need to write down every day.
  
  As proof that to succeed, it all begins with me spelling it out in no uncertain terms.
  
  And believing it.
  
  Not an attempt at narcissism, but rather as a defense mechanism. Defense against who or what you ask? Defense against all the naysayers and resistance forces waiting in the wings to put me down. Just as I’m getting up and into this whole enterprise of writing and blogging.
  
  The famous author Steven Pressfield was perhaps the first to have issued the warning in his book The War of Art. That resistance to one’s art and craft (be it writing, or any creative endeavor) comes in all shapes and sizes – human or otherwise.
  
  Many can actually be people whom I would never expect, namely family members and close friends!
  
  So I need to repeat this mantra to myself daily.
  
  “I am a writer.”
  
  I’m not just a blogger.
  
  I’m not just an occasional contributor to my local dailies’ public forum page to vent or give feedback.
  
  I’m not just a serial appeal letter writer to the transport authority to beg them to waive parking and speeding fines (just to clarify – I don’t break traffic laws on a regular basis, in case I’m giving you that vibe).
  
  I’m not just a diarist, penning down a poetic-sounding line or two when suddenly, but rarely, inspired.
  
  There are many writers out there, but few who are raw, authentic, genuine, and believable. I want to be among those few, but I know well the sacrifice it will involve, and the discipline it will entail.
  
  This is hard work and the journey will be long, arduous, and painful. If based purely on my past track record, I would probably have given up this undertaking now even before it has a chance to take off!
  
  Sadly, most around me, including loved ones will probably agree and write off this new aspiration of mine as just another recreational hobby, a temporary fling. Besides, if it doesn’t make a decent living (sobering fact: few writers ever become best-selling authors), why bother?
  
  Yet.
  
  I have something to say.
  
  I want to be a truth-sayer.
  
  I desire to use my writing to help me understand myself and the world I live in.
  
  I have a voice I believe matters because of what I’ve experienced, and because my life is still an unfinished journey right now. But hitting 50 this year, I have already traversed many paths and picked up enough things along the way that I know someone else may benefit from hearing about.
  
  No one’s going to have quite the same experience as me, so mine will be a unique voice.
  
  I just need to hone my writing skills now and keep on writing daily until I build my voice and establish my platform.
  
  When the right time comes, I can be “unleashed” onto the world, and make at least a minor impact in my corner of it. And hopefully, along the way, find kindred spirits who will resonate with my words and ideas.
  
  Until then, I just need to keep preaching this to myself daily:
  
  “I am a writer. I am a writer. I am a writer.”
  
  Posted in Advocacy, Reflections, Stay Home Dad, The Craft of Writing | 2 Comments | Tagged Blogging, Creating, Life, Motivating, Society, Writing
- 7 areas I pray for every day for my firstborn
  
  Posted at 8:31 pm by Kelbungy, on June 6, 2020
  
  In a previous post, I shared the points I prayed for every day when it comes to Caleb, my youngest who has moderate autism.
  
  But I realize now that I would be remiss if I don’t also share likewise for my neurotypical firstborn.
  
  So here I go.
  
  In many ways, I have been richly blessed by him and his presence in our family. As our firstborn, Jaedon’s always been the one to “teach” my wife and me all about parenting, and to shape our journey as a family in so many ways big and small. We couldn’t have come this far without his “tutelage”.
  
  So it’s only fair that I give him the most valuable gifts a father of the faith can give – the sharing of lives as a practical way to model and share God’s love. And prayer covers every day of the week (just like I do for his brother).
  
  Monday
  For the first day of the week, I would pray for Jaedon to always hunger for learning.
  
  As a life-long learner and educator myself, it’s natural that this is a priority for me. That he is curious about the world we live in, and always carry a desire to learn and grow. But at the same time, I ask God to also help keep him humble, teachable, and, most importantly, that he be willing to share what he knows with others generously.
  
  Tuesday
  On the second day, I would pray that he develops in his areas of strength and talent.
  
  My son’s been learning the violin since he was six. Five years on, he’s made significant progress and even came away with a distinction in his Grade 5 practical exam last year! (A proud and shameless daddy plug here!!)
  
  He’s also shown dexterity in pencil sketching, as well as a keen interest in soccer and cycling. He also displays a flair for acting and cracking silly jokes. He also sings a mean (and I do mean “mean”) opera! I have hurting eardrums to prove it!
  
  Of course, I never need my kids to be multi-talented or even highly proficient in any one thing. All I want as a parent is that my kids find their passions, and be given opportunities wherever possible to pursue them.
  
  Wednesday
  Midweek, I would pray for Jaedon to manage his emotions and interpersonal relationships well, and to do so in a way that honors God.
  
  I can’t underscore enough the importance of this, especially given my own chequered history in these areas. My dysfunctional upbringing – lacking strong and responsible adult modeling by the men in my life (my deceased father and older brothers) has made me painfully aware of how one’s life can be forever derailed if these twin areas of emotional and interpersonal relationships aren’t navigated with care and a heavy dose of self-awareness.
  
  And awareness of those around us, and what makes them tick.
  
  It is my hope that he can manage these in ways that bring glory to God. Certainly, I continue to struggle in these so I hope he would at least get a headstart now compared to his old man.
  
  Thursday
  
  Come Day 4 of the week, I pray for him to simply care, love, protect and (where needed) defend Caleb all his life. The reality is that when his parents are gone, his brother is all Caleb will have should Caleb never find a life partner (a distinct possibility that’s often crossed my mind and weighed down my heart).
  
  It pains me each time I think of this, so I need to know that Jaedon won’t ever abandon his brother, the way my brothers have ignored me for most of my life, even today.
  
  Maybe this is actually a prayer for me and Caleb, and not so much for Jaedon (sorry son to lay this on you!). It’s an eternal hope of mine that God will assure me in my final days that Caleb will be well cared for long after I’m six feet under.
  
  Friday
  On this day, I pray that Jaedon will always champion the less fortunate in society. That he will always stand firm and unafraid against bullies of this world, especially those who seek to undermine him out of malicious or jealous motives.
  
  This is a prayer borne from my own painful life experience, of people who have tried in ways both overt and covert to put me down and take me out. While I admire many in this world who are able to ward off the “darts and arrows” their enemies assail them with, the way a duck can easily shrug off the water off their backs, I have never been skillful in this.
  
  No surprise then that I still carry many of these mortally-wounding instruments on my person!
  
  So even as I slowly try to pull them off of me, my wish is that my son will have a tougher armor on him to ward off such ‘attacks’. But more importantly, he will not sit idly by when others like me suffer but will stand up against the ‘bad guys’, and defend those who are defenseless.
  
  In short, a brave and noble hero to rescue the downtrodden.
  
  Saturday
  
  On this day, I pray for Jaedon to have an excellent attitude towards people and life in general, and to manage his time effectively across all that life and living will demand of him.
  
  A most practical and helpful prayer I wish I had laid on me growing up, given how overwhelmed I can be throughout my years as an adult, especially when many demands of life come at me all at once! And made worse by people with different wavelengths who invade my world and wreak emotional havoc.
  
  Sunday
  
  Last but not least, I will end the week by praying for him what I also pray for Caleb: to always honor, love, and cherish Jesus; and us their parents. (In that order)
  
  For now, these seven areas capture my hopes and aspirations for my firstborn.
  
  Of course, I’m not so naive as to expect all of these daily prayers to be answered in one fell swoop. Or even for every one of them to be fully and completely answered to my satisfaction.
  
  But I do trust in the One I pray to.
  
  And that is more than enough.
  
  For me, and hopefully for my Jaedon too.
  
  Posted in Christianity, Jaedon, Reflections, Stay Home Dad, Teaching/Education | 0 Comments | Tagged Life long learning, Spirituality Family Parenting
- The reality of aging in the new world order of Covid19
  
  Posted at 8:30 pm by Kelbungy, on June 3, 2020
  
  My 86 year old mom fell this morning at my sister’s place.
  
  She’d been staying there since 2 Apr, even before our country’s COVID-19 circuit breaker pandemic measures kicked in on 7 Apr. As mentioned in a previous blog post, she had been staying with me since October last year when her dementia was official, but she occasionally ‘camps’ over at my sister’s place.
  
  It’s been challenging for my sister (who’s retired and in her mid-60s) to be caring for her these past two months since movements nationwide were restricted. So in a sense, given my mom’s age, condition, and diminished motor competence, it’s probably already a blessing that she’s been well so far.
  
  My sister said that she had for whatever reason slept badly the night before so she likely missed a step on her groggy walk to the kitchen early this morning.
  
  The good news is that according to the examining doctor, nothing on her was injured or fractured. Still, she’s been warded today at the nearby hospital for overnight observations to ensure there’s no internal bleeding.
  
  The bad news is that this is happening during COVID so it’s really tough in terms of visitations by family members. The visiting hours are extremely limited but strictly enforced. And to top it all off, each time only one person can see her.
  
  Though I’m confident my still-feisty mother will be back home safe and sound by tomorrow, if not a little bruised on her hip, still the concerns remain: Will she recover fully from this fall? Will she fall again?
  
  And it makes me reflect on what aging is like in this new world order thanks to this irreversible global coronavirus pandemic.
  
  The elderly are the most vulnerable and fragile during this period, but eventually, that’s all of us. And a fall is probably particularly frightening, especially if it leads to serious fractures and we end up bedridden and hospitalized.
  
  And we all know how far more stressful it is these days to be in a hospital!
  
  I have been having chronic back pains for a number of years now so I understand all too well this whole fragility matter, compounded by unknown viruses that are coming in waves. With each passing year, I have to be more and more careful to act my true age, because everything needs to be done slower and with greater care than ever before. Taking the stairs, going for walks, even just the simple act of getting out of bed in the morning. One careless or false move and the rest of the day could be spent in agonizing pain.
  
  And lest anyone think lightly of the reality of body and joint pains, and the body’s degradation with each turn, move, or even sneeze….well you might wanna check out this article, or at least take a look at the diagram below to see what goes ‘wrong’ as we grow old!
  
  Best of course if you are or have an elderly person in your circle or network. If not, well it’s not that hard to find and befriend someone nearing the twilight of his/her life in your community. Keeping of course your social distancing, please!
  
  Stay healthy by all means, but be realistic. The fountain of youth isn’t a real option! Better to have caring people around to support you when you’re old and gray.
  
  For me right now, I’m just looking forward to bringing my mom back home again once she’s discharged and this pandemic eases.
  
  Then, at least my youngest can stop asking me: “When can Ah Mah come home?”
  
  Posted in Covid-19 Pandemic, Reflections, Society, Stay Home Dad | 1 Comment | Tagged Aging, dementia, Family, Society
- Thank You “Uncle Ravi” for your legacy
  
  Posted at 8:28 pm by Kelbungy, on May 30, 2020
  
  It’s been 11 days now since he returned to the Lord.
  
  Still, I don’t know where to begin to add my meagre voice to the multitudes everywhere, testifying to the goodness of this man; arguably the greatest intellect, evangelist and Christian apologist these past four decades have ever seen:
  
  Ravi Zacharias.
  
  For the longest time, I’ve been in awe of people God’s blessed my generation with. People who inspire and point me and countless others to the risen saviour. The books and speeches by these fervent and gifted Christ-followers of our times (Graham, Palau, Yancey, Turek and many more) have helped do one thing well – point me back to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
  
  “Uncle Ravi”, as he’s also affectionately referred to by many, stands tall among these. Yet despite his staggering reputation, I will honestly say that I’ve only ever owned and read one of his plethora of published works – The Lotus and the Cross.
  
  And I never even finished it (gulp)!
  
  But I am far more in awe of all the public Q&As he fielded with so much poise and aplomb across the decades. Thank God many of these are captured on Youtube videos. In each one, you can see that he never beats a sweat against the toughest of questions. And he always had a satisfying answer.
  
  But more than his wisdom and intellect, I was touched by his kindness and heart towards every person, every questioner he encountered.
  
  Uncle Ravi always went behind the question to understand the questioner. It was his deep-seated belief that we are to answer the person, and not merely the question. For me, that speaks to the righteous and godly posture he had towards every individual; the tender care he showed to every truth seeker.
  
  Sometimes in life, a person comes along that just inspires you to be a better version of who you are right now. For me, Uncle Ravi is that person, and his passing is a true loss, one that leaves a void hard to fill.
  
  As long as he’s around, I still think that we can easily diffuse the fiery voices of opposition that constantly besiege earnest believers everywhere. Now that he’s gone, who will stand against the onslaught that’s sure to follow, one that’s likely to be full of renewed vigour and ruthless determination to undo what Uncle Ravi’s tried to do all these years: help believers think, and thinkers believe?
  
  For sure, clumsy oafs like me who forgot to factor in the questioner but butted headfirst into one intellectual discussion 11 months ago, will remember well the sting of being subsequently and unfairly branded a ‘relentless proselytizer’. This was something I wrote about in my last post of 2019.
  
  If only I had “sat” at Uncle Ravi’s feet and learnt well from him before that unfortunate incident. I lost more than the argument that day. I lost a potential life-long friend, the chance to see him come to a saving knowledge of Jesus, and my nerve to testify henceforth.
  
  These days, I reckon my best bet to further God’s kingdom here on earth is just to pray. I’m too much of an emotional wreck to tackle such confrontations in a God-honouring way, seeing how easy it was for me to get worked up when face-to-face with a conflict. Better leave apologetics to the more composed and steel-willed Christian who can confront confidently, but simultaneously show patience, grace and humility.
  
  No Uncle Ravi, please don’t worry. I’m not throwing in the towel. That would be an affront to your legacy. Rather, I’m thinking that for now, I might be able to better live out 1 Peter 3:15 than 2 Timothy 4:2.
  
  Until then, let me get back to the one book of yours I still own and finish reading it. I promise not to stop there though. I shall “sit at your feet” with at least a few more of your other great works. Hopefully, thereafter, I shall be able to move fluidly between 1 Peter 3:15 and 2 Timothy 4:2.
  
  Thank You so much Uncle Ravi! Wait for me ok? I want to meet you in heaven soon, tell you what I’ve learnt, and spend an eternity with you and other saints, worshipping our Lord and Saviour for all of eternity!
  
  Posted in Christianity, Reflections, Society | 0 Comments | Tagged Apologetics, Christianity, Evangelism, Jesus, Life, Ravi Zacharias, Relationships, Religion, RZIM
- “Fortitude for Fuel” – musing over First anniversary of my Full-time joblessness
  
  Posted at 8:32 pm by Kelbungy, on May 27, 2020
  
  Exactly a year ago today, I said goodbye to my last full-time work, and hello to my second jobless status in 17 years.
  
  That morning, I completed the requisite paperwork for my departure, said goodbye to the one and only person in the company who was there to “send me off” (the admin manager), and made my solitary way to my favourite Tuesday haunt – an empty sports stadium near my son’s school.
  
  There, I found myself staring blankly at a running track under an overcast sky. Those tracks seemed almost to mock me that day, reminding me that I’ve been “here” before. The same way a marathoner in training must feel after completing his umpteenth time around that track, with the gray sky above casting a dark and dreary shadow over the track’s red polyurethane surface.
  
  Back “here” again – the starting point of another 400 meters (a quarter of a mile) of track. Or in my case, “400 meters” of an uncertain future.
  
  Some 17 years ago today, I was without work and looking at an uncertain future too. But that was a different time. Back then I was still in my early 30s, and feeling unafraid about the prospects of finding work. After all, when you’re in your 30s, you feel like you own the world. You feel like there’s nothing that can stop you.
  
  Like James Cameron (director of acclaimed movies like Titanic and Avatar) once famously said as he picked up his Best Director Oscar: “I’m the King of the World!”
  
  Yea, that kind of feeling.
  
  Fast forward almost two decades and a global COVID pandemic which we’re all still reeling from, and it’s a whole different feeling altogether. Instead of King, I think the more appropriate term is Kid. I felt like that a year ago, a new kid on the block, stepping into an unknown freedom. An unknown future.
  
  I still feel that way today as I recall that morning at the stadium one year ago.
  
  Except now I’m busy typing out cover letters, resumes, and filling up multiple fields in online job application portals. Which can take anything from half to over an hour to complete! Hunting high and low for this certificate or that testimonial to bolster my chances, and plowing through endless job websites in search of opportunities.
  
  Some days I feel like I’m taking control, choosing where to send my stuff to. Some days I feel like I’m out of control, choosing just about anyplace to send my stuff to. Or not.
  
  Especially when rejections boomerang my applications back. Or worse – silence.
  
  But even though age is against me now as I turn 50 in five weeks, and the job market is drying up, I trudge on.
  
  I have to.
  
  There are still dependents at home who need me to help keep the family afloat. It’s for them that I soldier on, leaving the outcome to God but trying each time to channel more fortitude after each painstaking application I make is met with silence.
  
  Speaking of “fourth-titude”, our country’s Deputy Prime Minister and Finance Minister just announced the fourth in a series of “pandemic rescue packages” yesterday. He called it (wait for it) the nation’s……Fortitude Budget. Following the patriotic, nationalistic-sounding Unity, Resilience and Solidarity budgets previously announced.
  
  It’s nice that I still live in a country where the government has enough in its coffers to barricade us against economic storms like the one this COVID pandemic has stirred, launching one wave of financial rescue package after another.
  
  For me, it’s restored some confidence that if I’m unemployed, I’m at least unemployed in a country that’s working hard to help every worker find jobs and survive this historical moment.
  
  But then, at the end of the day, it’s still on me to forge a future for myself and my family.
  
  So on I trudge, with fortitude as my fuel, towards an uncertain future.
  
  Posted in Covid-19 Pandemic, Reflections, Society, Stay Home Dad | 0 Comments | Tagged Family, Future, Joblessness, Work, Work-life Balance
- How 5 Whys led to 1 Truth: Why my kid prefers to stay home during COVID
  
  Posted at 8:36 pm by Kelbungy, on May 23, 2020
  
  At least thrice a week, we take the kids out for a walk. That’s the very least we can legally do during this COVID lockdown period, with masks on of course. Other than the obvious health benefits, it’s something we parents desperately need.
  
  Who can stay indoors 24/7 with kids without going berserk!
  
  And let me just say here that, at the very least, it beats the heck out of attending yet another one of those boring 45 to 60-minute sit-in webinars that seriously teach you nothing. Nothing that is, that a one-page CliffsNotes can’t do in under three minutes.
  
  But out of every three times that we get ready to step out of the house for our family walk, two of those would be spent trying to get Caleb to cooperate and come along.
  
  For someone who used to enjoy going out, our dear friend has turned into an overnight recluse since the COVID situation began. He would throw the hissiest of fits just so he can avoid leaving home.
  
  He was at it again this morning, running all over the house to escape our grasps as we try to get him to put on his walking shoes. He would cook up some excuse about needing to find this or that toy first. He would then proceed to insist he must take the toy along for the walk. He would carp that it’s too hot to go out. Too long to complete the walk. Too tiring for his legs.
  
  In short, he simply refused to leave. Not without one of his now-signature tantrums.
  
  Finally we had to bring out the big guns, threatening to take away his Osmo Awbie playtime afterward, or his favorite TV cartoon show. I call these big guns the “screentime threats”. The very reasons why kids need to go outdoors regularly in the first place.
  
  So after yet another one of these dreaded parent-accelerated-aging episodes, I decided to get to the bottom of his objections. I decided to try the famous five whys interrogation technique, with the requisite fatherly hems and haws thrown in for good measure.
  
  First why. “Ummmm…Caleb, why don’t you want to go out anymore?”
  
  Answer: I don’t want to sweat.
  
  Second why: Oh….hmmm…but why don’t you want to sweat?
  
  Answer: Because then you will make me bathe when we return home.
  
  Third why: Ahhh…now why don’t you want to bathe?
  
  Answer: I don’t like to get wet.
  
  Fourth why: But how can you be clean otherwise? Why don’t you like getting wet?
  
  Answer: Cos it takes too much time to dry up.
  
  Fifth why: Oh! Why are you afraid it takes too much time?
  
  Answer: Because then I have less time at home to play! (complete with a look of exasperation at my incessant tirade of questions!)
  
  At this point I had to slap my forehead. Of course! With or without Covid-19, there are already far too many fun things to do at home than there are outdoors. This is an imbalanced environment we exhausted 21st-century parents have been complicit in creating in modern times. Thanks in no small part to the big and small screens that’s come along to fill up our lives and keep us busy busy busy!
  
  So why should we expect any kid to want to step out of the house at all?
  
  In fact, as studies have shown, few do these days, compared to when I was a kid. Even before COVID, it’s already a common sight to see kids at outdoor playgrounds, but looking transfixed at screens on phones or tablets instead of climbing, jumping, and sliding! (Another forehead-slapping moment)
  
  If this is the truth in today’s world, then all the more we had better brute-force our kids outta the house every good weather we get, sweat or no sweat!
  
  So sorry Caleb, but we’ll be going out again.
  
  Soon.
  
  Posted in Caleb, Covid-19 Pandemic, Stay Home Dad | 0 Comments | Tagged Covid, Covid-19, Family, Outdoors, Parenting, Playtime, Screentime
- The light “within” us must be greater than the light “upon” us
  
  Posted at 10:46 pm by Kelbungy, on May 20, 2020
  
  Recently, a brief discussion arose in my cell group’s chat on WhatsApp. It was a controversial issue about certain believers urging churches to stop playing Bethel and Hillsong worship music.
  
  Now I usually keep mum when it comes to controversies in Christendom. Not because I’ve no opinions, since I’m known among friends to be a contrarian, one not adverse to challenging conventions. But in this case, I chose not to comment too much for two reasons.
  
  Firstly, there’re usually subtle nuances we aren’t privy to in such issues; even hidden agendas by the opposing parties in the debate. In this case, it had to do with various concerns like doctrinal underpinnings and the sheer scale of these ministries’ reach and potential for detracting from God in favor of slick, technically-brilliant concert event management. So to jump into the fray of such issues without knowing what’s really going on is akin to rushing headlong into a lion’s den.
  
  Secondly, it’s doubtful whether these divisive conversations go anywhere useful for the expansion of God’s Kingdom here on earth. It’s like the age-old debate of why Protestants have different splinter groups like the Methodists, the Anglicans, etc.
  
  A case of focusing on the trees rather than the forest.
  
  Having said that, I did weigh in on our chat to say that such controversies weren’t unique. As wise King Solomon aptly put it thousands of years ago, there’s really “nothing new under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 1:9). I also wanted to weigh in on one area of controversy this issue raised: the form of worship these music ministries delivered.
  
  A favorite book I repeatedly read over the past year actually had some helpful insights, though it was written well before this particular issue went viral. Called “Simply Tuesday” by Emily P. Freeman, Chapter 6 in the book spoke of how the human soul was never designed for fame. There, Emily gave examples of celebrities like comedian Ray Ramano and 2012 American Idol winner Philip Philips. Both men understood the foibles of fame.
  
  For Ramano, it was his appearance on Oprah’s talk show when his successful Emmy-winning TV sitcom “Everybody Loves Raymond” (ELR) completed its stellar nine-year run. There he shared on national TV a note his brothers wrote him before he first set off as a poor, fledgling comedian to work on ELR’s first season. In the note, his brothers quoted Mark 8: 35-36 where Jesus asked: “…what profits a man if he gains the whole world yet forfeits his soul?”, by way of reminding Ramano to stay grounded.
  
  For Philips, it was the Idol finale when he was pronounced the winner. Rather than jump for joy, he walked offstage exhausted, after the obligatory finale performance (one he couldn’t complete), and straight into the welcoming, sanity-restoring embrace of his very down-to-earth family. It was pretty clear then that Philips had had more than he could bear of the glare and spotlight that invariably accompanied any new-found fame.
  
  Emily also quoted author Christine Caine, who said: “If the light that is within you is not greater than the light that is upon you, the light that is upon you will destroy you.” Caine too made reference to Mark 8 when she came up with this insightful line.
  
  I remembered two decades ago when I was serving in my church’s worship and evangelism ministries. It was so easy to be sucked into all the glory of being in the spotlight. The constant recognition and words of admiration and encouragement, as I encountered church members along the church corridors and pews, were like a dizzying aphrodisiac. I just found myself craving for more.
  
  In those years, the light that was “upon” me was definitely greater than the light that was “within” me. So it came as no surprise that I was burned out within a couple of years!
  
  Since then I’ve watched Christians serving in frontline ministries (worship leaders, musicians, preachers, etc) with a mixture of respect and caution. I knew painfully well the dangers that came with being in the spotlight for too long. I often say a short prayer for them – that they would not be overwhelmed and lose their souls to the ever-eager enemy that prowls everywhere like a “roaring lion, waiting to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).
  
  Over time, I’ve learned to discern the signs. For instance, when these ‘front liners’ start to get too glitzy, polished, even perfect. Like every worship event staged by Bethel and Hillsongs that cost millions, and that appear for all intents and purposes like some Beyonce or BTS concert.
  
  Or the overly made-up and coiffed preacher in the latest Armani suit.
  
  You can say that it’s their way of ‘keeping up with the times’ or being ‘in the world’ in order to better connect with today’s social media generation, and lead more people to Jesus.
  
  But those arguments sound hollow once we acknowledge that we are supposed to ‘perform’ to an audience of just one: our Lord Jesus! Wasn’t Jesus someone who had “…no beauty or majesty to attract us to him…nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him”? (Isa 53:2) What’s His reaction I wonder if He were to sit in on one of these “majestic” worship events today?
  
  For me, I would prefer imperfect, occasionally out-of-tune worship leaders. At least I’m more likely to identify with them for they are far more authentic and reliable. Fellow broken sojourners on this uneven cobbled road of life, seeking a savior.
  
  I acknowledge that this is, and always will be, a topic of great controversy. And I’ll be remiss if I didn’t also acknowledge that there probably are authentic followers of Christ in Bethel, Hillsongs, or other ‘controversial’ Christian outfits today.
  
  But because we are all hardwired from birth to yearn for something greater than ourselves, it’s critical that we remind ourselves regularly that only Jesus is that ‘something greater’.
  
  Only Jesus can truly satisfy.
  
  His light within us is what will truly sustain us, not the deceptively bright and glamourous limelight this world shines on those who mistake it for the life-giving light of Christ.
  
  Posted in Advocacy, Christianity, Reflections, Society, Stay Home Dad | 0 Comments | Tagged Adoration, Christ, Christianity, Faith, Fame, Front liners, Jesus, Limelight, Music, Religion, Spirituality, Spotlight, Worship
- To be a writer, just write. Period.
  
  Posted at 8:30 pm by Kelbungy, on May 16, 2020
  
  I have been at this for nearly five months now. Yet I’m still finding it hard to make it stick!
  
  Yes, I’m talking about my writing.
  
  You see, recently I told my wife that I’ve been finding it really easy to finish my daily task of typing out 750 words in one uninterrupted sitting. Quality notwithstanding of course.
  
  It used to take me at least an hour. Now I can mostly do it in half that time.
  
  She responded that that was good, but it’s also not surprising since I’d been at it nearly daily, for more than four months. Doing something that often ought to make it easier. Conventional wisdom would likely agree. In fact, that’s probably true with most things in life. Discipline and consistency are the building blocks towards mastery in just about everything you can think of in this world.
  
  But to some extent, I felt that I hadn’t been totally truthful to her, and to me.
  
  The truth is that right now, I can just as easily stop writing.
  
  Which was exactly what happened recently.
  
  It was about three weeks ago. I found that for some reason I had overlooked writing on Day 5 in my five-days-a-week writing plan. Maybe it had been a long and tiring day. Maybe I was distracted and simply forgot.
  
  And so, before I realized it, I had awoken into Day 6, without a single word typed out for over 24 hours!
  
  You could say that maybe I’m being too hard on myself. After all, I had been faithfully keeping to this schedule for over four and a half months, without missing a beat. So what if it happened this one time? I can cut myself some slack no? And as compensation, I did turn that fateful week’s Day 6 into my Day 5, thereby ensuring that I kept to the plan to still knock out five days of writing that week.
  
  But it also ended up becoming my new five-day-a-week-writing plan.
  
  Now, instead of writing from Monday to Friday every week, I write from Monday to Saturday instead. With Friday being my day of rest. And I’m painfully conscious of the fact that there’s still every chance my new Day 5 could morph into Day 7!
  
  Oh, what’s that you ask? How many days are there in a week?
  
  Thanks.
  
  This just tells me that I’m still a long way off from making this whole writing thing an integral part of my life. All my readings of accomplished (read best-selling) writers, from Anne Lamott to Jeff Goins, tells me that to make writing as natural as breathing, I must keep on writing.
  
  Every day, according to plan.
  
  Without fail.
  
  Without writer’s block.
  
  Without distractions.
  
  Without excuses.
  
  Just write.
  
  Then and only then will (fingers crossed) my writing come more naturally, and (hopefully in my case) much better than it is now.
  
  So here I go.
  
  I will write.
  
  Today.
  
  Everyday.
  
  Write.
  
  Posted in Reflections, Stay Home Dad, The Craft of Writing | 1 Comment | Tagged Consistency, Discipline, Stay Home Dad, Write, Writer, Writer's Life, Writing
- Thank you, COVID-19, for strengthening the bond between my sons
  
  Posted at 11:17 pm by Kelbungy, on May 13, 2020
  
  One of the best takeaways during this COVID-19 global crisis would certainly have to be the opportunity for me to see my sons grow closer to each other as we stayed home.
  
  It also made me see anew the plus point of having both my kids being of the same gender.
  
  For the longest time, I’ve subscribed to the notion that a ‘perfect’ family would comprise of a father, a mother, a son, and a daughter. At least that’s what all advertisements would seem to tell you. Without even realizing it, much of society (and me) had absorbed this mantra, even though it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that it’s just advertising convenience. The easiest and most representative family make-up would, after all, have to be that man-woman-boy-girl combination, since that pretty much covers every family.
  
  Of course, it did also seem logical since having one of each gender would seem to ‘fill out’ the whole parenting experience.
  
  So naturally, when it came time for us to have a second child, my wife and I just wanted to have a girl. But as luck would have it, Caleb came along instead.
  
  No complaints, but then again, we couldn’t help but wonder every now and then what it might have been. We did try again to conceive but were twice unsuccessful. So in the end, we had to settle with being a two-child family, and what we thought (with some trepidation) the prospect of many days of sibling rivalry to resolve!
  
  We were after all of the impression that if both kids in a two-child family were boys, then the ‘fights’ would probably also be doubly intense. At the very least, research does affirm that the two boys combination is only ‘third-best’ compared to the two girls or one boy-one girl ‘combo meal’.
  
  And we were right on many an occasion throughout their young lives! It was all we could do at times to keep them from an all-out war!
  
  But in the past year, I’ve noticed that Jaedon and Caleb have found some sort of an “equilibrium”. It’s rather hard to say how and exactly when, but I’m not complaining! For me, watching them now has filled my heart with overwhelming pride, and I feel so privileged to be having front row seats for this spectacle.
  
  This prolonged and enforced time at home now thanks to COVID has actually done even more to strengthen their sibling ties; more than anything we as parents have tried with them in the past to accomplish.
  
  For instance, take yesterday, when they watched the 2011 movie Green Lantern starring Ryan Reynolds in the title role. After that, both boys spoke incessantly over the dinner table about it. As soon as dinner was over, they started rummaging around the house to find some toy that resembled a green lantern ring.
  
  Nope, they didn’t find any, but Jaedon managed to find a small blue round clip that was just big enough to be slipped onto their kiddy fingers. Without hesitation, he offered it to Caleb! What a generous brother, and it was clear Caleb was most grateful since he started parading around the house with it most proudly.
  
  Jaedon guided his sibling into imaginary play as to what the ‘blue lantern’ ring could conjure up in terms of imaginative creations that would come to life, just like in the movie. Having done some quick internet search, Jaedon was even able to call out the famous Green Lantern oath which goes:
  
  In brightest day, in blackest night
  
              No evil shall escape my sight
  
              Let those who worship evil’s might
  
              Beware my power, Green Lantern’s light!
  
  He even researched that there were other colored lanterns too in the story, and promptly went to tell Caleb all about it. They then went on to have lots of fun reciting it to each other. It was as though there were only two of them in the whole ‘Green Lantern Corps’ universe, and they only needed each other.
  
  For a parent, there really was no more precious a moment than this. Nor prouder.
  
  What made it even sweeter was that this strong bond and camaraderie extended into the pre-sleep routine, where once again Jaedon sat down and read to Caleb his favorite storybook (Paw Patrol). Even though it wasn’t the first time, somehow the added closeness that came from their common experience that evening after the movie (and the happy banter and play that followed after), continued joyfully on into the reading.
  
  As I watched how focused and attentive Caleb was sitting by his older brother (as Jaedon read, then got Caleb to read some parts too), I felt both a tinge of pride and also of jealousy. Caleb was never this attentive when I read. Somehow, he preferred reading with his brother so much more.
  
  In the end, what’s so great was that I got to watch what it was like when two brothers connected and bonded, something I never had with any of my two (much) older brothers.
  
  It confirmed for me that having two kids of the same gender really offered up a special ‘combo meal’ that just needed the ‘right virus’ to bring out its full and unique ‘flavor’.
  
  So in an odd way, I have to say a big thanks to COVID!
  
  Posted in Autism, Caleb, Jaedon, Reflections, Society, Stay Home Dad | 2 Comments | Tagged brotherly love, Covid, Covid-19, sibling bond, Spirituality Family Parenting
- Give me Liberty now; Life can wait – Sweden’s Light-touch strategy for COVID
  
  Posted at 9:41 pm by Kelbungy, on May 10, 2020
  Though brief, it was a little hard to ignore.
  
  There nestled today among the cesspool of news articles on (what else?) COVID-19 that dominated most pages of our daily newspapers, I saw this sobering piece of news, with a rather eye-popping statistic.
  
  As of 8 May, Sweden (with a population of around 10.3 million) had over 3,000 deaths because of COVID, compared to its neighbors like Denmark (514 out of 5.8 million) and Norway (217 out of 5.4 million)! So even if you discount for possible variations among countries in the way they compute their numbers, the difference is – to put it mildly -alarming!
  
  And all because this nordic nation chose a completely different path to tackle this virus, compared to most Western economies. It didn’t impose any kind of lockdown, and the country was pretty much all business as usual, albeit slightly slower than before.
  
  I decided to find out more.
  
  I went to several news sites like Al-Jazeera, Bloomberg and CNBC. True enough. Sweden had chosen to take a more relaxed approach towards the pandemic, and its death toll per capita was certainly comparable to the USA, the country that’s the worst-hit right now.
  
  I investigated just how relaxed Sweden was, and found out that while it:
  1. recommended its citizens to exercise voluntary and responsible social distancing, this wasn’t policed nor enforced. And gatherings of below 50 were still considered fine.
  2. got tertiary institutions to go online for classes, this wasn’t applied to the lower levels. In short, schools for kids below 16 still stayed open as per normal.
  3. cautioned citizens to stay home to work as much as possible (avoiding non-essential travel), it allowed cafes, bars, restaurants and businesses to stay open.
  Given that Sweden continues to remain in the top 10 list of countries worst-hit in terms of deaths per million population, I just had to understand why such a seemingly laissez-faire attitude was adopted and even accepted by its citizens.
  
  And when you throw in the fact that many of the Swedish victims who succumbed to COVID were the elderly, well surely this must feel like a travesty of the worst kind no? All those deaths might have been prevented, or at the very least kept to numbers more in keeping with its neighbors’.
  
  To be fair, no country has the upper hand in terms of how their handling of the virus is the best among the rest. For all we know, the Swede’s method to keep it relaxed in order to reach some kind of herd immunity might prove to be the better horse to bet on in the long run.
  
  Only time will tell.
  
  So it might still be early days yet to fault Sweden, even though their death toll is predicted to continue on with its current dangerous ascent.
  
  But still, I couldn’t get over the feeling that Sweden was behaving like a fireman standing in front of a burning house with arms lightly folded, doing nothing to save the people trapped inside.
  
  And so I decided to research a bit more about its culture, by way of understanding how its societal values might have played a part in this light-touch approach. After all, such issues almost invariably touch on social mores and norms.
  
  What I found out about the Swedes’ culture (from Vox, an independent research organization based in the UK) were the following:
  - Trust was typically high between the public and the government, both vertically and horizontally.
  - They have no shortage of hospital beds, suggesting a robust healthcare system.
  - Its history and heritage were of the liberal-individualist persuasion; in short, to each his own.
  - The economy was of preeminence, as the country relied heavily on external trade.
  - Keeping things normal was a priority. Quoting a recent statement from the nation’s chief epidemiologist Tegnell who leads the nation’s COVID battle, “people should be able to keep a reasonably normal life.”
  And there, in those last three characteristics, I found my answer.
  
  Between choosing to save as many lives as possible today, and keeping the economy and people’s daily lifestyles humming tomorrow, Sweden has made it clear to the world which it prefers.
  
  Certainly, there were many in Sweden who opposed the decision and had spoken up about it. And perhaps, in the long run, the country might come to regret choosing this ‘wiser’ path to “give me Liberty” now (Life can take a number).
  
  But for now, at least, Sweden seems to be standing firm on its strategy.
  
  I just can’t help wondering though how its leaders can explain its decision to its grandchildren and future generations.
  
  That when faced today with a choice to save someone in a house that’s burning now, Sweden chose instead to stand still, with arms lightly folded.
  
  Waiting for the house to burn down.
  Posted in Advocacy, Reflections, Society, The Good The Bad & The Ugly | 0 Comments | Tagged Coronavirus, Covid, Covid-19, Family, Government, Life & Liberty, Social Experiment, Society, Sweden
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