Earlier this week I attended a meeting that made me realise maybe it’s time more men should worry about, well, men. Because the people who organised and led the meeting to talk about men issues were, well, women!
Allow me to take some time here to unpack what happened.
But first, a short “history” of my voice in the space of social issues.
A Growing Disquiet
For a long time now, I’ve been speaking up via this blog and other public platforms on various social issues. Issues that have gripped my attention.
Like advocating for those with special needs and their caregivers. Fathers like me who embark on the path less travelled (such as becoming fully stay-at-home dads or retiring early in order to spend more time with family). Burgeoning writers who feel like frauds. Our nation’s descending total fertility rate. The perilous adoption of AI en masse. And so on.
Talk about your social warrior! (Is there such a term?)
But of all these issues I am sensitive to and often advocate for, the one that probably worries me the most is the future of masculinity here.
In the West, the issue of men, and their identity and sense of self-worth, is often discussed and studied via frequent research such as those done by Beyond Equality in the UK and Equimondo in the US.
Here such efforts seem to be few and far between.
To be fair, a quick check with ChatGPT (purely as an initial step in my exploration, nothing more) does show there are different research papers written here about men issues, but the coverage tends to be limited to matters involving national service (compulsory two-year military service for men upon turning 18) and racial/cultural identity.
Men issues today, I contend, go beyond these. Things like, are you a man if you don’t have a job? Are you a man if you can’t father children? Are you a man if your wife works harder and earns more money than you? And are you a man if you suffer depression and anxiety, or have retired but don’t know what to do with all that extra time?
The truth is we don’t address these questions at a national level. In my, of late, growing disquiet, I am wondering who’s advocating actively in this ambiguous space for men’s wellbeing?
As it turns out, it would seem to be…women!
Are Women Here More Concerned About Men Than Men?
The meeting that took place four nights ago was organised by a group of women researchers who had concerns that there’s been a lot more discussions globally today that revolve around the wellbeing of men and masculinity issues.
And so they approached me (representing The Ordinary Dad), and a few other men representing various men and family-focused groups to have an informal conversation. These included the Centre for Fathering, Bros Before Woes and Cultivate SG.
The ladies shared various findings that basically painted a somewhat bleak picture of how men are in today’s world. And they wanted to hear our take on these findings and explore if there might not perhaps be something that we can do collectively to address the issues.
To be sure, there were so many issues raised that evening — toxic masculinity, changing gender roles in society, fathering, career changes, just to name a few — that it’s pretty hard to pin down where to start. Or even how to start when it comes to unpacking them.
And it made me wonder.
Are men, even the men represented that evening, as concerned about the wellbeing of men as the women who called the meeting that night? Or are women, who have championed gender equality for themselves for decades, now turning their eyes on us and showing more concern than we are?!
Men, We Need To Step Up!
Again, to be fair, there are already various men groups here (aside from numerous faith-based ones). While some overlaps invariably exist in their missions and goals, each also has a different target and purpose.
The Ordinary Dad (which I had a hand in forming, back in March 2023).
Focuses on dads who are main or co-caregivers of children.
Center for Fathering.
Set up in 2000, promotes active and involved fathering across the nation.
Bros Before Woes.
Started in November 2023. Seeks to forge healthier conversations on male identity, especially among men between 18 and 45 years of age. (Similar small male community groups like The Brothers Circle and The BrotherBru are also mentioned here)
SG Male Allyship.
Founded during the Covid-19 pandemic. Runs a monthly Community of Learning for men who want to better understand themselves and the lives they are living.
And then there is the “new kid on the block” Amicus Curiae Psychological and Coaching Services (ACPCS), which rose to the challenge (to empower men) thrown up in a men’s forum in November 2025. They desire to bring men and men’s groups together to share stories, sharpen virtues, and challenge one another to grow into the best versions of men possible.
This last group seems to embody the “perfect mission”. But since they have a commercial element, it’s early days yet whether they’re best placed to champion men issues here.
All this to ask the ultimate question: Is it time we men all come together and champion our cause collectively as one body, one voice?
If so, then how do we do it?
And if we don’t, what’s really at stake?
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