If I weren’t here, I would probably be home doing laundry.
This was a tongue-in-cheek yet absolutely real and truthful remark I heard this morning from a young father.
You see, I had the opportunity today to participate in a special event by, with, and for parents. Including parents like him.
A few months ago, I was approached by the non-profit agency Focus On The Family (Singapore) to be part of a podcast community event they were hosting for the first time. Called “Beyond The Mic“, the event aimed to bring together regular listeners of their podcast series Connect2 and ParentEd.
For a time of honest family-centric conversations with one another and a panel of guest speakers.
The guest speakers, including yours truly, had previously been featured on either podcast series, talking about all things marriage, parenting, and family. Having been featured three times before on ParentEd (2024, 2025, and 2026), Focus must have reckoned I was a suitable candidate to join the panel of guests they planned to line up for their first-ever meet & greet with listeners who followed their podcasts.
Me For A Meet & Greet? You’re Kidding, Right?
When Focus first approached me, I was (to be honest) a little skeptical.
For three reasons.
1. Anonymity
To be a guest on a podcast series that’s still all audio (in recent years, many podcast series have included video too) meant I could be fairly anonymous, since listeners only hear my voice but can’t put a face to it (unless they bother to search for me online).
That anonymity lends a certain mystery and security to the whole experience. Something I am always grateful for as a certified introvert.
Odd though you might say, given that my day job requires me to stand comfortably in real time before teenagers in a classroom to speak. And mind you, teenagers these days aren’t exactly the most enthusiastic, nor easy-to-please audiences! (For more on that, see my recent post on “hanging up my teaching hat”)
Plus, in recent years, I’ve expanded beyond this demographic to speak before much older and learned people in various fireside chats and presentations.
So why would I feel insecure or uncomfortable speaking before a live audience this morning?
Beats me! All I know is, I feel nervous when speaking in public. Every. Single. Time.
(To make it even more ironic, would you believe I teach/assess students on public speaking skills?!)
2. Sacrifice
To attend this two-hour event — held at a rented community space in a shopping mall no less — one must pay nearly $50 (if you throw into the mix public transport costs or private car parking charges, not forgetting lunch afterwards)!
More significantly, the event took place today. A Saturday. And early in the morning too! Which made me really nervous because, why would anyone sacrifice precious family or “me” time to wake up early and leave home to discuss parenting do’s and don’ts? Cos these days one can do so at any time in any free online space without stepping out of the house and emptying one’s wallet!
So clearly I better do my part to make it worth their while just for showing up, right?!
Yep, no pressure.
3. Why Me?
Finally, I was a little flummoxed when the invite came.
Surely they had more able speakers in their stable, no? Who am I to address an audience of fellow parents on how to parent well? Heck, I should be in the audience myself!
What if I end up with egg on my face? Or worse, offer up bad advice that they bring home to try, resulting in a far worse parenting experience than it otherwise could have been?!
Again, no pressure yah?
(Then again, the audience might have signed up to hear the other guest speakers. Not me. Whew! That’s comforting)
Thankfully, my worries proved unfounded.
In The End, It Was All Good. Thank God!
When we arrived (my wife and youngest came along), we were warmly greeted by the hosts from Focus and brought on a quick tour of the community space. It was clean, well laid out, with different spaces and levels for conversations both broad and intimate. There was also a huge play area in the back for parents to leave their kids while they chatted with other parents and caregivers.
After brief introductions and greetings among the panellists and some audience members, the session started with a lead-off question.
What did we find most challenging in our marriage/parenting journeys?
While the other two sets of guests (a husband-and-wife team who ran workshops to help couples navigate marriage, and a young mother of three small kids who was featured a few months ago being “interviewed” by none other than our nation’s very own Prime Minister!) shared some of their marriage best practices, I chose instead to share a little differently.
I started with a quote from Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina (having a child means “the world has so many ways to hurt me”) followed by my own harrowing story of rescuing my then 20-month-old son in 2011 by climbing out of an 8th-storey window with no harness! (Details in this essay I wrote under sub-section “Overcoming Fear, With Love”)
All to say that marriage/parenting journeys are most challenging because of the unexpected.
Then, after some general remarks and comments, we separated into three breakout groups to allow for more intimate conversations. Every 20 minutes or so, the audience would be rotated to ensure they would have a chance to chat with all three sets of guests.
In my sessions, I hear the common concerns I used to wrestle with (and still do). Concerns about how to model good behaviours for kids, as well as develop their confidence and communicate well. For these, my take is that parents need to know mistakes will happen. Bad modeling of behaviour to kids will happen. It’s in our job description as parents! All the more we need to celebrate wins when they come like we won an Olympic gold medal!
I also realised as I listen to everyone that concerns over marriage and parenting transcend generations. Even though a majority who came this morning had kids below 13 years old, there were those with kids above 20 too! You would think the latter wouldn’t need any refreshers but should instead be shepherding the rest of us still parenting those below 18.
Parents, We Got This!
I walked away today both heartened that parents care and parents will show up. Even on a weekend.
To learn with one another and to be better.
And we can be!
So if you’re a parent and you’re reading this, know that you got this! Don’t quit on you cos your kids need you to show up, warts and all.
And to nurture, guide, accompany, and love them into adulthood. So that the legacy of strong families may continue.
I’ll end here with a special thanks to Focus On The Family (Singapore) for inviting me to be part of such a memorable event. May it offer up hope and encouragement to tired parents, and spark more conversations and connections that ultimately lead to better children, parents, and families.
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