In the song “Word of God Speaks“, the band MercyMe sings of being at a loss for words but goes on to reassure us that “it’s ok”.
Despite regularly listing ideas for potential new blog posts, I often find myself in just such a situation of being loss for words, rendering these ideas as, well just that – ideas.
Unmentioned. Unheard. Unseen. Unactualised.
Some probably call this a case of writer’s block. Or an “off day”. Or lack of inspiration.
The song however, reminds me that it’s okay to be at a loss for words. Because that’s when I stop being heard but begin to hear. That’s when I stop striving and start being. I start to be still and know that I’m part of something bigger than me, bigger than my problems, my situation. That this wonderful world we live in (yes it’s still wonderful despite these increasingly-turbulent and uncertain times) is large enough to hold my troubles, my sorrows, my inadequacies and failings. Large enough to store my joys, my accomplishments, my zest for life and enthusiasm.
Each day brings with it new reasons to pause, to listen and to lookout for signs of life around me, of God’s hand moving events and circumstances, touching lives and changing the course of my future and those of others.
For me the reason today would have to be the growing feeling of nervousness and almost unbearable despair at the prospect of my aging mom moving in me with me and my family in less than a month from now.
Well, perhaps I exaggerate the severity of this impending move just a teeny bit.
But you see, not only will I have to adjust to her daily presence, I’ll have to brace myself for more contact with estranged older siblings who would no doubt be ‘forced’ now to get in touch with her through me.
More contact, more lording over me, and most certainly more words. But not the sort I’m looking forward to.
So I’m at a loss for words now as I anticipate what’s ahead.
I can only look at the skies above which thankfully today afford me a view of God’s majesty in full unbridled glory, letting me forget momentarily my concerns, and focus instead on His universe, His masterpiece!
How the clouds drift from one end of the horizon to another in an orchestral symphony. How they change colour from snow-white to exhaust-fume grey. How they morph and form themselves into all kinds of shapes that seem to speak of other giant worldly inhabitants.
Or how the wind ebbs and flows at will, oblivious and uncaring who or what it blows at or by as it moves invisibly across the earth. I can’t see it nor hear it, but I can see and hear its effect on the trees around me as they rustle in excited whispers of some galaxial secret to each other, secrets I want desperately to listen in on but am seemingly just out of earshot.
So yea it’s ok I guess for me to be at a loss for words now. Most of our waking moments are already so preoccupied with written words on papers and screens just screaming for attention, and spoken words that, well, just plain scream!
So let me stay a while here in silence, as thunder rolls noisily in one part of the sky, and birds chirp incessantly mid-flight in another part.
And maybe when it’s all over, the words will finally come. And my ideas. Actualised.