Wanting the “Endgame”, but stuck with “Infinity War”

As I put my boys to bed just now, it came to me: these last few days have truly been akin to living the “infinity war”, with Caleb having more tantrums and meltdowns than usual.

And it got me thinking: Boy do I want the “endgame” now!

In particular the one “infinity war” that happened last Saturday was a real doozy! I hadn’t seem him so worked up before in a very long time. And all because he didn’t want to do a particular piece of homework from school. It wasn’t anything new really; teacher gives his class the same themed homework every Friday (an ongoing weekly journal on “My favourite _____”) and he has the weekend to complete it – with help from us parents of course.

But for some reason, he refused to do this latest one (“My Favourite Movie”), which led to one of the biggest meltdowns we’ve seen from him in a long time. He was screaming, crying, rolling on the floor, threshing about with all four limbs, and fighting our attempts to restrain him right in the middle of our living room floor! It went on for something like 20 mins or so, but felt like 20 hours!

I’m not really sure anymore what’s going on with him of late. Was it bad habits picked up from school? Or is it some growth spurt gone amok? Is he testing boundaries? And just how long more have we the strength to calm or physically restrain him?!

So yes, it’s beginning to feel a lot like we’re living in an “infinity war” with him, while all the time hoping to reach the “endgame”, so we don’t have to wrestle with this boy’s difficult behaviour anymore.

He threw another hissy fit the next morning just before we were to set off for church, and all because we refused to let him bring toys along. While this time the meltdown was shorter, our tempers were also ‘shortened’, thanks to the ‘whipping’ he gave us the day before. So it was purely by God’s grace that he finally calmed down enough to follow us to church.

Even today, things got out of hand when he repeatedly kicked his mom’s knees while she was helping him with his math homework. We knew he didn’t mean to do it like a bully or because he didn’t want to do the homework. A lot of times he’s trouble figuring out how to respect personal space and to use socially appropriate touch to signal his needs.

But this time, it went too far. Mommy was so upset that she kicked him back, causing him to howl in pain for a good ten minutes. Mommy too didn’t mean to do it, but these moments will inevitably pounce on us parents when we’ve reached the end of our tether! God only knows how many times I’ve wanted to do the same! (PS Both of them eventually hugged and made up of course)

Sighhh….this is part of the whole unfinished journey of parenting our boy, like an unfinished saga of a long drawn-out story. A bit like waiting for Avengers Endgame while only having Avengers Infinity War. Well, at least that will change tomorrow for me, when older brother Jaedon and I finally get to see Endgame in the cinema – yeah!)

And when Caleb’s mature enough to appreciate these MCU story arcs, we’ll happily bring him through the whole Avengers’ saga once again. But hopefully by then, he will be able to get from Iron Man through to Endgame without any more meltdowns.

And yes, in case you wonder why I specifically brought up Iron Man, let’s just say I failed to heed a spoiler alert! Ouch!!

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