Two days ago, I returned to my alma mater (where I completed my postgraduate studies 11 years ago) for a podcast recording.
But I was not there to be on either ends of the mike.
Instead, I was there to observe and support the interviewees I had recommended to the podcast producers. Having been in the “hot seat” myself on several occasions in the past, it was nice for a change to just be a fly on the wall.
And the icing on the cake was finding myself back in a place I once spent two wonderful years studying.
But first, let’s talk about the podcast.
Researching on SAHDs with Three Podcast Episodes
A couple of months ago, an undergraduate from my alma mater approached me and my community of fathers.
She wanted to interview stay-at-home dads (SAHDs) as part of a short romcom film she was producing for a final year capstone project she was doing with two other course mates.
Where better to find SAHDs than with TOD, or The Ordinary Dad?! (That, by the way, is the name of my fathers community)
As an educator and advocate for SAHDs, I was happy to offer help, and to recommend suitable interviewees from my community.
After all, this wasn’t the first time TOD supported a group of students. Last year, we provided the inspiration for another group of final year students and their film project (coincidentally, those students were also from the same school and course). That support from us resulted in a 15-minute documentary about why people choose to be parents.
Called Are You Kidding?, the documentary was released to the public earlier this year.
Maybe it was because the word got around that TOD was a great community of guys to work with? True or not, we found ourselves back in demand again this time.
A Romcom About Gender Role Reversals
According to the students who approached us this round, they wanted to counter gender stereotypes and produce a short romcom film where the female lead will play an ultra powerful corporate executive who’s married to a guy more inclined to stay home and care for their young daughter.
Can’t get more counter-cultural than that!
But these students also wanted to make sure they weren’t misrepresenting these modern gender roles. So, they decided to do some homework. Eventually, they landed on the idea of recording their research via a three-episode podcast series with real-life SAHDs as guests to help explore what life is like as “men about the house”.
I think their motivation not to misrepresent SAHDs was the chief reason we agreed to help them.
After all, for most of modern history, the default is to make a joke about men in “feminine” roles (think Robin Williams in Mrs Doubtfire or Kevin Hart in Fatherhood). To portray dads bungling through the day making silly mistakes caring for kids and the home.
So, if there’s a chance to overturn that narrative, who better to help than men like those of us in TOD?
“Wish I Was As Wise When I Was Their Age”!
It was fun and informative for me to sit in on the recording this week as an observer.
Before, when I fielded such interviews, I was often nervous and would worry I might portray SAHDs inaccurately. Looking back on the various podcasts, radio and tv interviews I’ve been in, I wish at times I could turn back the clock and change some of the things I said.
The two interviewees I hand-picked certainly showed no such signs of worry and nervousness during the recording two days ago. Both 37 years old, one was a dad to a 21-month old daughter and the other a dad to two sons aged six and three years of age. Throughout the recording, these two fathers responded to questions with poise and gravitas.
I remember thinking as I watched their calm demeanour in front of the mikes, cameras and professional lightings, how I wish I was half as unflappable and wise as they when I was 37!
In fact, I wondered if I was so during all the presentations I did 11 years ago in my alma mater!
Those Were The Days My Friend
To be able to return to my old school where I had fond memories was a treat for sure.
I re-walked the halo-ed corridors and peeked into some of the lecture and seminar rooms where I had the most scintillating discussions and debates over various module topics and issues. After the recording, I was even able to pop by the large canteen in the next block where I used to wolf my dinner down hastily before dashing for my classes!
Even though it’s been over a decade, and I no longer remember the details of what we wrestled with in those classes, I found nostalgic feelings circulating my body this week as I climbed the familiar staircases to my lessons. I recall the feeling of awe I had combing through the different shelves in the basement library, staring admiringly at the jaw-dropping array of communication and media books that lined them (yes, I was a bookworm of a nerd back then!)
But what I remembered best were the folks I got to know there during my two years pursuing my masters degree — my course mates. As adult learners (our average age was 35 with some even well into their 50s then), we were connected in a shared bond of assignment deadlines and exam blues, all the while holding down full-time jobs and juggling family commitments.
It’s been 11 years now and I’ve lost touch with nearly everyone of them, but I’m grateful that, for at least those two years, I had them to stave off the loneliness and fear that comes with returning to university after two decades away.
Who knew an unexpected invitation to a student podcast in 2025 would let me relive memories from more than ten years ago?
May more serendipitous walks down memory lane await me in 2026!
{I will be taking a month’s break from blogging starting 1 December. But fret not. I will return rested and ready to wow my loyal readers come January 2026. Meantime, blessed Christmas and a joyous New Year to you and yours!}
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Thank you so much!
A good read as usual, Kelvin. Enjoy your time “blog holiday”!