Recently I wrote what was to be a two-part letter to my younger self, in response to a radio talk show I was invited to speak on (the segment was aired on national radio last evening).
This is Part 2 of that letter (click here for Part 1).
My Letter to “Mini-Me” (Part 2/2)
Hey K
Sorry I rushed off my earlier letter to you.
I’m back now for the concluding part.
I ended by telling you that I see you and how you feel right now. That life for you right now is anything but great. And from where you stand, the future looks extremely drabby too.
You’re still a teenager (granted a slightly older one now), a most unsettling season of life for many. And to add insult to injury, you’ll be joining the mandatory 2.5 years of military service for the nation quite soon. Nothing there for you to look forward to, which I totally understand. So your sense of self right now is still pretty much how it’s been the last few years. Low, and going lower!
Sighhh…let’s face it. We’re not the alpha-male military types. Even during the four years you spent rehearsing for the role as you served in our high school’s national cadet corps, you were, throughout, gritting your teeth harder than a beaver grinding logwood to build a home.
So the prospect of another 2.5 years in full-on military mode, where the level of challenge and difficulty will be infinitely greater than in high school? Not exactly a dream come true.
I can understand how on many days you wish to dig a hole and hide away from the world (oh yes, during your army years, you will learn not only to dig a hole, but a whole trench!)
All the same, I’m not gonna waste time talking about the military here.
Except to say this.
While it won’t be a breeze, and yes you will have many moments of desperate anguish, the key is that you will survive. Hey, I wouldn’t be here to say all this to you otherwise, right?!
Now that we’ve put the question of your survival to rest, I want to spend this final segment of my time-traveling letter telling you about how everything that you will encounter is shaping you to be the man I am today.
Everything You Will Go Through Shapes You
There were moments when I thought if I go back in time, I would urge you to make different choices. Maybe live a different life.
But the thing is, even if you did take my advice, there’s no telling if you’ll have the future that is now my present. And where I’m now standing, this much I can say: I’m unwilling for you to walk a different path if it means losing what, or more correctly, who I now am, and who I now have in my life.
Just know that I’m talking about our wife and kids. If you didn’t go through what you will in the coming years of your current timeline, I might never have met our wife, dated, and eventually married. And then to have two wonderful children who I cannot imagine my life without.
If all this sounds fuzzy to you, it’s deliberate. I don’t want to spoil your experience with details that could burden you needlessly as you go through life.
Instead, my hope is to strengthen you with the outcome of your life I mentioned in Part 1 of my letter. Knowing it all works out up to this point in my current timeline should leave you with less reservation to traverse your life as you move from teenhood to adulthood.
Advice For The Journey
If indeed you wish for any advice at all about life, were I to have a chance to relive it, then this much I will say.
Don’t bend to external expectations and pressures to conform. Especially if it means taking time away from discovering who you are and who you are meant to be. Or worse, conforming to the point you lose all faith and self-confidence that you can be anything other than what others want, demand or expect from you.
As a famous singer-songwriter in my time once said when interviewed about her thoughts coaching budding singers:
Take time to reflect on our own journeys and realize that every time we hit roadblocks, the answer was go deeper, go more truthful, share more of yourself. It’s never the dog and pony show, that’s never the answer. The answer is always go get closer to yourself and you will get closer to your audience.Â
In your case (and mine), the “audience” are those who are your cheerleaders. People who sincerely, genuinely want nothing more than to see you do well. And to do well not because of how they define “well”, but how “well” looks like for you.
Finally, I do hope the time machine technology will improve quickly now for me so I can travel to meet you. A letter is great, but nothing beats us meeting face-to-face.
Cos then I can give you the tight, loving hug you never had growing up.
Til then, God bless you, my “mini-me”! And remember, you got this (life).
So go ahead. Embrace it!
Your Future Self
