My Monday Metrical Musings #20

handsome black male looking at camera

(Never) A Part of Your World

It seems I was never
A part of your world
The beautiful, hip, sophisticated crowd.
It seems I’ve been
Clinging, wishing, hoping
My stupid head in some stupid cloud.

Took me half a lifetime
To finally see
So I guess this one’s
This one’s on me.
I was never ever
Going to be
A part of your world.

But I get it now
I really do.
There’s no doubt in my mind
I’ve a much clearer view.
You tried to leave me out
In plain and subtle ways.
But I was too blind, too naive
My bad
My mistake.

Kept ingratiating myself
Like some ugly leech
From a mangrove swamp
Making sure I’m in reach.
Of next week’s plans
For dinner and dance
But I was alone
In the end.
In this desolate place
This ‘No-Friend Zone’
This barren empty
Space.

I’m actually a native here
That’s who I truly am
Destined to have few
If any
Friends.

So you know what?
I’m fine.
I got this now I do.
I’ll let go of
My desire to be
A part of your crew.

For who do you think
You really are?
Attracting repelling
One day near
The next afar?
At the end of the day
It comes down to this:
I too can decide
If you’re “in”
Or dismissed.

For friendship is after all
Not what we say but do.
As you “un-choose” me
I “un-choose” you.
No need to protest
Or seek redress.
Or treasure-hunt for
Friends to keep
And possess.

So I get it now
My mind no longer a blur.
We were never ever going to be
A part of each other’s world.

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