At the start of this week, I attended “Unfiltered: The Family On Trial“, a conference hosted by CultivateSG (CSG) about championing families.
CSG was formed a couple of years ago with the idea to cultivate purposeful discourse and promote meaningful conversations around families and social issues. Its goal is to champion the virtues of family in hopes of promoting the values of family and community, and their place in a society that increasingly views family, marriage and parenthood less positively.
As a panel speaker for their inaugural breakfast conversation more than a year ago, I’ve continued to keep in touch with CSG’s founders and have been an ardent supporter of what they do to advocate for families. This is the second time I’ve attended their annual conference since they launch their first one 12 months ago.
In today’s post, I’ll share two highlights of this year’s conference as well as some points of reflection I have.
Highlight #1 – Families Need To “Flourish” To Succeed
The keynote address was delivered by Associate Professor Tan Seow Hon from Yong Pung How School of Law at the Singapore Management University.
The crux of her message was that, rather than applying the world’s usual markers of success — economic, financial, educational, etc — we should perhaps consider as success ideas surrounding the concept of flourishing, which goes back as far as Aristotle.
A/Prof Tan also referenced the Harvard Human Flourishing Programme, as well as Oxford Professor Emeritus John Finnis‘s seven basic “goods” that contribute to a flourishing life:
o Life
o Knowledge
o Play
o Aesthetic experience
o Sociability
o Practical reasonableness
o ‘Religion’
All to say really that it’s the intrinsic, non-quantifiable pursuits that we should focus on that ought to define what success and flourishing means. Especially when it comes to nurturing healthy and thriving families.
Highlight #2 – Reduced Interest In Marriage & Parenthood
(Source: Writer’s Photo Gallery)
The second highlight for me at this conference were the results of CSG’s 2025 survey shared by their research analyst Daniel Lim. Of the many findings shared, one disturbing trend for the prospect of families in the future stood out for me.
What is that trend?
In our country, more young, unmarried women (millennials and Gen Z’s) are showing less interest and faith in marriage! (Details on page 19 of the survey’s report)
At least for those of us who value families and their integral role in building societies, this should be a red flag that something needs to be done to further examine what’s behind this trend and mindset among younger women who are in their prime marriage and child-bearing years.
I suspect it’s got to do with cultural shifts that we have ‘missed’ in our busy pursuit of success markers like wealth and status.
In pursuing those (and a smorgasbord of creature comforts), we — those of us born before 1980 — have indirectly promoted to the next generation the importance of material possessions and self-actualisation at the expense of selfless sacrifice and community development.
To Champion Families, We Must Recalibrate “Success” Markers
Leaving the conference, I felt both hopeful and hopeless about the prospect of championing the virtues of families here.
Hopeful, because the conference turnout (more than 250 persons) tells me there are enough people and organisations that desire the best for families.
Hopeless, because the task is increasingly monumental! And it doesn’t help that oftentimes, adults ourselves are unaware of just how dire the situation of erroneously choosing what defines success is potentially.
One clear example was demonstrated during the audience Q&A session during the conference. One lady stood up to ask the speakers why our total fertility rate (TFR) is falling and what can be done about it.
When I heard it, I thought to myself, this is 2025 going on 2026. Our TFR has been falling for several years already, so why ask such a question only now? A question that already has answers easily retrieved through a simple online query!
If the adults among us remain clueless or only superficially interested in this existential crisis, is it any wonder that marriage, parenthood and the overall population are in troubled waters today?
(By the way, there were unfortunately no clear answers in response to that lady’s question)
We need to recalibrate “success” markers in our land or risk seeing our society dwindle in numbers, starting with families.
One way to do so is for the rest of us to start singing the virtues of marriage and parenthood in language understood by today’s young adults. Not sugarcoating but also not griping about the challenges all the time, which they already see too much of in social media and popular discourse.
If we persist to sing these virtues, in time perhaps we will see a new generation that views families that thrive as the true societal success markers, versus the current material markers that serve only to promote the opposite.
