Hello and welcome again to my Guest Post mini-series!
Today I’m privileged to have stay-home dad, Suraj Kamath, share his insights on parenting with us. He is a dad to a lovely young daughter, and his insights on the initial year of her birth hold much wisdom that new dads in particular can benefit from.
Over to you, Suraj! (For info about my guest, check out his details at the end of this post)
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Parenthood, especially for dads, seems to happen gradually, then all at once.
At least, that is how I experienced it.
I thought I knew what being a dad was all about. After all, I had seven to eight whole months to prepare. As it turned out, however, there were a few important lessons I learned on the go, which I wish more dads would talk about.
1. Natural Childbirth Isn’t Always “Natural” or Easy
Before becoming a dad, I assumed childbirth was straightforward, natural, safe, and usually quick.
Reality was an emergency admission at 37 weeks, a tense and painful 24-hour ordeal, ending in an emergency C-section.
Sitting outside the operating theatre, the possibility of losing my wife or our child, or both, suddenly became very real, and the thought of it was devastating.
Thankfully, everything turned out fine.
But that experience taught me something profound: the act of bringing life into the world is anything but mundane. It’s a courageous, selfless, and, frankly, terrifying act of love and hope. Realizing that a woman, quite literally, puts her life on the line during pregnancy and delivery left me humbled and deeply grateful.
As a modern man, I have no direct way to reciprocate that level of physical risk and sacrifice. The act of a woman carrying your child is an incredible gift and deserves recognition and appreciation.
If you’re a dad-to-be, take a moment to reflect on the weight of what your partner is doing, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally.
And then please let her know you appreciate it.
2. Breastfeeding Isn’t as Simple as It Looks
Before becoming a parent, I thought breastfeeding was natural and effortless.
Reality check: it’s anything but!
We faced challenges first with latching, building a milk supply, pumping, and storing milk. Something I had not even thought about as a potential issue became the central problem that governed our early parenting life. The formula didn’t work; our daughter would chug like a Viking (she still does!) but would get terrible stomach aches.
To dads: If you and your spouse plan to pump and feed, I highly recommend it (my best moments were feeding my daughter). Be prepared to step up your game and be alert!
Pumped breast milk is liquid gold. One small spill, or forgetting to put a bottle back in the fridge, can feel like the end of the world!
We have literally cried over spilled milk — because it represented hours of effort and sacrifice.
3. Postpartum Depression Is Real—for Both Moms and Dads
The first time I held my daughter, I felt immense joy. But right behind that, an overwhelming sense of responsibility.
That moment was when being a dad became real, and my priorities shifted in a second. Work seemed insignificant compared to the tiny life in my arms, and along with the joy came a wave of fear, anxiety, and self-doubt that I wasn’t prepared for.
As it turns out, postpartum depression isn’t just a mom’s battle.
As dads, we often tie our sense of self-worth to our careers or our ability to provide. But when that identity is shaken, it’s easy to feel lost or even depressed. My wife struggled as well, grieving the loss of her dream for a natural childbirth and grappling with the sacrifices she had to make in her budding mental healthcare career.
We both floundered for a while, but eventually found our footing by rallying together.
For me, it meant diving into fatherhood with the same energy and focus I once reserved for work. For her, it meant finding a path back to her career, even as we adjusted to our new roles as parents.
If you’re struggling, don’t be afraid to talk about it. Seek out supportive friends, family, or even professional help if you need it. Parenthood is too big a journey to navigate alone, and there’s no shame in admitting you’re overwhelmed.
4. Being a Stay-at-Home Dad Is More Than “Helping Out”
For a while, I became a stay-at-home dad — a role I initially treated as “helping my wife” rather than fully owning my role as a parent. I’d call her at work with questions like, “Where’s the laundry soap?” or “How do I heat the milk?”
Eventually, she sat me down and gave me some tough love: being a parent isn’t just about following someone’s lead — 90% of the work is knowing what needs to be done and taking ownership of it. That conversation was a turning point. I stepped up, took the reins, and became a self-sufficient parent.
Even after I returned to work, we continued to share responsibilities at home. One of us would always step in when the other needed to lean into work or other commitments. Over time, we realized that balancing caregiving and earning wasn’t just practical—it was vital for our family’s emotional well-being.
To dads who think caregiving is “women’s work,” here’s my take: work is work, whether it’s at the office or at home. Today, women are proving themselves just as capable in the workplace, so why shouldn’t men be equally competent at home?
When both parents are capable and supportive, the whole family thrives.
5. The Big Takeaway: Parenting Is a Team Sport
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my journey as a dad, it’s that parenting is a team sport where both partners play vital roles, and the ability to adapt, communicate, and support each other is what makes all the difference.
To future dads out there, here’s my advice:
— Educate yourself about childbirth and postpartum realities. It’ll help you support your partner more effectively.
— Be prepared to roll up your sleeves and dive into parenting. Breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, diaper changes—it’s all part of the job.
— Don’t underestimate the emotional challenges of parenthood, and don’t hesitate to seek help when you need it.
— Break free from traditional gender roles. Parenting is about partnership, not outdated stereotypes.
Parenthood will test you in ways you can’t imagine, but it will also shape you into a stronger, more empathetic version of yourself. Embrace the journey, challenges and all, because the rewards—those tiny smiles, giggles, and milestones—make every sleepless night and hard-earned lesson worth it.
If you’re a dad (or dad-to-be), what lessons have you learned along the way? Share your experiences by leaving comments for this post. Or pass this post along to someone who could use a little insight.
Let’s build a community of dads supporting dads—because none of us should have to figure this out alone.
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About My Guest
Suraj Kamath is an involved and devoted dad, volunteer, aquarist, and tech professional. A lifelong learner, Suraj immerses himself in tech, psychology, physics, literature, and hands‑on projects — from building AI tools to aquariums and DIY electronics repair. He serves on his child’s school PSG (Parent Support Group) Executive Committee and supports hospital teams in data‑driven patient care.
A longtime practitioner of Vipassana meditation, he blends sustainability, mindfulness, and tech in both his personal and professional life. He specializes in developing and operationalizing data, analytics, and AI models to solve operational challenges and is currently working on a new startup in data analytics for small healthcare teams.
For more about Suraj, check him out at surajkamath.com
