It’s been so long since I finished reading a book cover to cover! (These days I mostly skim)
So this would be an opportune time to do a book review, as I finally finished a book earlier this week. And since my last book review was posted more than six months ago.
Full disclosure though — this book I read gave me a bit of a shock, thanks to an unexpected twist somewhere past the middle of the story. It’s been a few days now, but I’m still in an emotionally twisted knot, as I try to deal with what that surprise meant for me.
(Don’t worry. I won’t give anything away about that twist. Or at least I will try not to!)
Despite the conundrum it’s put me in, this is still a book I would highly recommend to anyone looking for a good read this month.
Beginning The Way Of Many A Memoirist
Playwright and first-time author/memoirist Genevieve Kingston secured a coveted deal with publishing giant Simon & Schuster in 2021. Thanks to a New York Times’s Modern Love essay she submitted, and which the Times published in May that year.
It was a heart-wrenching masterpiece that introduced Genevieve (or Gwen, as her family and friends called her) to the world, and made readers like me instant fans of her writing.
In it, she talked about how her mom, who passed away from cancer when Gwen was 12, spent the decade prior preparing gift chests for Gwen and her older brother Jamie. In each chest were carefully wrapped gifts for their birthdays and various milestones right up to the age of 30!
That essay eventually led Gwen to publish her first memoir two months ago.
Knowing how this is often the path of many a memoirist — first an essay, then a book — I’ve been quietly waiting these past three years for this memoir’s arrival.
The wait’s finally over and I couldn’t be more pleased. I also couldn’t wait to learn how a person’s lived experience could be deftly retold in a captivating, page-turning way. Especially since I’m still in the process of figuring out how to expertly tell mine in a memoir too.
But first, here’s a brief synopsis of the book (taken from Amazon).
Synopsis Of The Book “Did I Ever Tell You?”
Ten days before Gwen Kingston turned twelve, her beloved mother – with whom she shared a birthday – died.
She left behind two chests – one for Gwen and one for her brother – filled with lovingly wrapped presents and letters marking the milestones she would miss: driver’s licences, graduations and every one of their birthdays until the age of thirty. Each gift a chance to reach back into the past and, for the briefest moment, hear her voice again.
Over the last twenty years, the chest of treasures has travelled with Gwen across a continent, from state to state and apartment to apartment, growing lighter with each passing birthday. And now, just three gifts remain . . .
In this beautiful and heart-rending memoir, Gwen describes growing up in the shadow of loss, guided by what her mother left behind. Woven in is her mother’s own story, and that of their whole family – tragedies foreseen and unforeseen, paths taken and not taken. It’s about a mother’s love for her daughter, but more than that, it is a story of marriage, family, inheritance, and everything that shapes a life.
Writing Descriptively — My Forever Bane!
One of my biggest challenges in writing a memoir is the knowledge and ability to paint a vivid picture of my life and experience for the reader.
For that picture to be crystal clear, I’ve always felt it’s important to be as detailed and descriptive about my memories as I can be. A tall order, considering how tenuous memories can be, coupled with the reality that I’m forgetful with details (though not emotions).
Also, my writing style has always been more reflective than descriptive. I generally have no trouble expressing my thoughts and feelings in words. But I struggle to find the right ones to illustrate to readers a scene or an event to give them a visual, a context, and much-needed background information.
For someone who learns many things in life visually, it’s a bit of an embarrassing admission. Then again, maybe I’m wrong all along. Maybe I’m not so much a visual learner as I am an emotional and experiential one.
Whatever it is, these deficiencies often cause me to seek out powerful, descriptive writings. To hopefully learn from them the craft of descriptive writing.
Like the ones I found in this book.
Why I Love This Book
It’s Masterfully Descriptive
Gwen Kingston’s book is chocked full of descriptions. They transport readers effortlessly into the world she grew up in. A world that orbited around her mom’s debilitating disease as the family prepared for the worst. Even as her mom painstakingly prepared the gifts for her and her brother, while fighting to stave off the inevitable for as long as possible.
The meticulous writing mirrors the love and attention to detail Gwen’s mother paid as she prepared presents for every birthday she would miss. Every milestone she wouldn’t witness. Notes and advice for every conceivable aspect of life — from friendship to engagement to marriage to parenthood.
As a parent myself, I can’t help but marvel at the sacrificial love shown. While I can feel the care stitched into each of those gifts as described by Gwen, I doubt if I would have the stamina to persevere like her mom did, carefully preparing every gift and accompanying note. All the time still fighting the devastating effects cancer was wreaking on her mind and body.
Which only made me admire her mom’s love for her children even more. The ultimate place of selfless love that is displayed in their lives in full bloom.
And the mastery of writing that got me there.
It’s Powerful In Its Narrative
What also won me over was how the story unfolded.
Unlike fiction, memoirs by their very nature lack suspense. After all, it’s based on true tales so the ending is pretty much a foregone conclusion. Yet what keeps readers turning the page is wondering what happens next. This is where suspense must come in.
This is what sets apart a great memoir from others that look more like diary entries.
Take this book for instance.
We the readers already know Gwen will lose her mom, just from reading the synopsis on the book’s jacket. We know she must grow up with nothing more than her mom’s parting gifts to learn how to navigate the world, though we don’t know exactly how unless we read the book cover to cover.
In the hands of amateurs (like me), a memoir’s predictability would have caused me to lose readers from page one!
Thankfully, Gwen is no amateur even though this is her first published book. (Plus she had access to some of the best editors in the business through her publisher Simon & Schuster!)
Gwen was able to keep me turning the pages voraciously to find out how she lived after her mom’s demise. She also brought to life other supporting characters in her story — her brother, her father, her stepmom (father remarried), and her stepbrother. Not to mention the many friends she and her mom had that came in and out of her life. Each shared snippets and insights of her mom with Gwen, often starting with the question Did I Ever Tell You?…(hence the book’s title).
But just when I thought Gwen’s grief at losing her mom was the crux of the book,…
Oops, I’m on the verge of revealing the twist earlier mentioned. Better stop now before I spoil it for you!
Just let me end here by saying this: If you only have time to read one book this month, pick this one!
Being an emotional and experiential learner is a powerful thing in their own right.
Perhaps that is one reason you are drawn to memoir – the reading and the writing of it?
And another reason is the sharing.
The memoirs which look like diary entries, Kelvin!
A good book about grief and death which is fictional is THE COLLECTED REGRETS OF CLOVER by Mikki Brammer.
And, oh, yes, the full bloom moments!