Speedo Deleto!
I don’t get it
I just don’t get it
All the ugly folds
On your worn-out Speedo
Doesn’t it feel uncomfortable?
Next to your wrinkled sandpaper skin
Snow-white when seen under glaring sunbeams
Have you perchance not heard of surfboard shorts
Or in your case maybe
Try faded overalls?!
Just cos the pool’s a place
To rest and relax
Doesn’t mean you let it
All hang out and do a hi-10!
Making the rest of our eyes burn
And not from a healthy tan.
I must protest
“Lifeguard, stop this old man!
He shouldn’t be here”
Exposing revealing
From ship brow to ship stern
Isn’t there a dress code
Something to pin him on?
Or at the very least pin on him
A swimsuit that’ll cover up
His less-than virile schlong
C’mon I have my kids with me
The damage this is doing to their eyes and mental well-being!
Can I sue him or you Mr Lifeguard, can I?
For putting us through
This indecent assault on our senses
Our dignity
Our frail defences
I’ll think twice before I come here man
May Mr Speedo be “deleto”
And never appear again!
