My Monday Metrical Musings #77

sea beach vacation sand

Speedo Deleto!

I don’t get it
I just don’t get it
All the ugly folds
On your worn-out Speedo
Doesn’t it feel uncomfortable?

Next to your wrinkled sandpaper skin
Snow-white when seen under glaring sunbeams
Have you perchance not heard of surfboard shorts
Or in your case maybe
Try faded overalls?!

Just cos the pool’s a place
To rest and relax
Doesn’t mean you let it
All hang out and do a hi-10!
Making the rest of our eyes burn
And not from a healthy tan.

I must protest
“Lifeguard, stop this old man!
He shouldn’t be here”
Exposing revealing
From ship brow to ship stern

Isn’t there a dress code
Something to pin him on?
Or at the very least pin on him
A swimsuit that’ll cover up
His less-than virile schlong

C’mon I have my kids with me
The damage this is doing to their eyes and mental well-being!
Can I sue him or you Mr Lifeguard, can I?
For putting us through
This indecent assault on our senses
Our dignity
Our frail defences

I’ll think twice before I come here man
May Mr Speedo be “deleto”
And never appear again!

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