Yes it’s true!
Since becoming a full-time stay home dad some four months ago, I’ve started to notice that by the time Thursday comes around, I just wanna bail out! I find myself unable to be around my kids without flying into a rage. Well, okay maybe that’s a tad bit exaggerated, but yes it’s also no joking matter when my tempers are frayed and I’m “test to the max”.
And if it’s the school holidays (like it is this week for PSLE marking), then Thursdays tend to arrive by…Tuesdays!
So there goes my usual Tuesday musings….outta window! Explains why I feel so beat now when it’s barely 3 in the afternoon (and 11 pm in the evening – yes I actually completed this blog in two sittings!)!
But I can’t really blame it on my kids this round; I’m feeling beat more because of the return of hot weather, some digestion issues and two major changes that’s happened in my life these past three weeks. One was my mom moving in to live with us, the other was me returning to teaching (albeit part time) since yesterday.
All these upheavals must be what’s causing me to feel some tightness in my chest and a constant feeling of anxiety. You would think I ought to be able to handle it better as a grown man pushing 50! But then again, maybe that’s exactly why I’m not handling it all that well!!
O well, lousy feelings will come and go, just like Tuesdays and Thursdays too will come and go.
But at least for today there was a reason to be cheerful.
You see, yesterday we received news from his music teacher that our eldest had passed his recent 5th grade violin practical exams with distinction! So it was certainly cause for a celebration.
Looking back, it has taken us some four years now since first he started to try his hand on the violin. And that was also the start of a very trying journey for all of us, especially his mom who had to turn at moments into the infamous Tiger Mom aka Amy whats-her-name! But the initial years of hardship and struggle to get Jaedon into the grind of learning the instrument most certainly feel like only a distant memory now, cos this achievement has vindicated our deepest convictions that our sons (yes Caleb too) are musically gifted. We’ve always wished for them to love and enjoy music so we’re really glad that they are so into music now. With Jaedon on the violin and Caleb on vocals, maybe we have what it takes to form a little family band.
Now if only I would re-start my piano training and mommy would dust off that forlorn guitar sitting quietly in a little corner of the house!
But for now, my daily and weekly rhythm needs some recalibrating in light of the upheavals I spoke earlier of. For that, I’m going to need to be more ruthless with how I spend my waking hours, and in particular how I may still continue to blog consistently and sufficiently regularly. For if I’m only churning out say two blogs a month (if I fail to calibrate my daily and weekly schedules optimally), then that may appear ‘consistent’ but it will simply not do! I need to be BOTH consistent, and also regular enough so that I hone my writing skills. This is especially critical as I wish to eventually publish a memoir of my experience being a stay-home dad to Caleb and his special needs.
Looks like I have to take serious heed of what my writing coach taught – the idea of being ‘hospitable’ to my writing by designating a consistent/regular schedule and venue 5 days a week (minimum) without exception, and completing 750 word write-ups each time.
But first, I need to adjust to this new work schedule I’ve taken on before I can best ascertain which pockets of time I can reasonably set aside each day or week to blog.
I hope I make it.