As I ease off another teaching contract this week and wait to see if a new one comes my way, I’m once more at a point where supposedly I’ve got more time on my hands to work on my “favourite things.”
Put another way, now’s the time for me to reckon with how I’m to, well, reckon with time!
What pray tell are my “favourite things” you ask?
Binge-watching TV shows and movies is one. Another would be reading and blogging of course (there’s also the small matter of that little pesky voice in my head daily chastising me for sitting on my now six-year-old memoir book draft!).
A third would be dreaming of a brand-new self-designed career to see me into my sunset years, while I volunteer my time with a community of mostly stay home dads that I helped to form more than three years ago.
But maybe what really needs to take center stage in this “in-between” moment is how I am showing up for my family.
Family First. Starting With Wifey
This time last year was one of the worst times of my family’s life as my wife battled Stage 4 cancer.
Fast forward 12 months and it appears for now that she’s none the worse despite the sudden aggressive onslaught of the disease she endured then. Not that we’re completely out of the woods, but on most days, she looks to the world like that ordeal never happened. Also, the cancer markers have so far been tame as well, giving us reason to remain hopeful.
For now.
But a recent health scare reminded us, and in particularly me, that we shouldn’t let down our guard and take things for granted. Ensuring she leads a more stress-free and carefree life with as little stress over health, family and finances will mean hereon that I best show up for her in more ways than one.
Spending more time with her to boost her health and well-being affimatively must take precedence over pretty much everything else that I mentioned at the start of this blog piece.
Things like being more proactive to ensure we remain fiscally-prudent.
Keeping up with our couple weekly walks and exercises.
Continuing to help raise our teen boys well.
Which brings me to our youngest son.
Family First. My Youngest Needs More Time
The “lamb” of my home must surely be our youngest boy, C.
I say “lamb” because, despite turning 15 in January, our dear son is still living out his pre-pubescent childhood and acting more like a nine-year-old. If you have been reading my blog regularly, you would know this has a lot to do with his autism and the environment he functions in, namely a special needs school and a home that takes care of pretty much all his needs.
To still be there for him daily will continue to mean being available to C when he needs anything.
Be it a car ride to his weekly gym session for autistic individuals. Or sending him to school on some mornings and fetching him back (we’re gradually weaning him off car rides, and making him take the public bus on his own more and more this year).
Not to mention supporting his academics, even though his struggles in this area continue to floor him; and us!
And helping him navigate puberty and social cues.
I will need to notch up my commitment and time in all of these areas of C’s life in order to better help him develop into a better, more decent young man.
How Would You Like Me To Show Up For You Today?
Of course, all of the above are purely from my point of view. In the end, all these musings must finally be “verified” with the “recipients” themselves, namely all of the above family members.
[For the record, I’m not deliberately leaving out J, my neurotypical firstborn. He too is someone I desire to show up more for. But in his case, connecting can only happen based on his “availability”. But thankfully, despite his busy schedule as an active 17 year old young man juggling school, sports and friendships, he still shows up for now especially during family get-togethers, and our relationship continues to be good.]
Yes, ultimately, the question I must ask all my family members this period is “How would you like me to show up for you today?”
If you enjoyed reading my thoughts and wish to support what I do, please consider donating using the button below.
Thank you so much!
