Looking back, I guess we always suspected Caleb had special needs, which we later found out to be autism. This was a suspicion that we already sensed when he was a baby. He didn't sleep easily, drank milk with great difficulty, ate little, but cried a lot. Everyone we knew assured us a second child … Continue reading Staying home for my son with autism – one dad’s life outside of a job title
The World Can Hurt Me In Many More Ways. In Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina", the character Constantine had this to say when his wife gave birth and made them parents for the first time: "Now the world has so many ways to hurt me." Though no parent would ever say this aloud, I believe every parent … Continue reading The day the world showed a new way it could hurt me
An editor approached me a couple of months back, asking if I would share with her readers my journey as a dad with a special needs child; in particular the period following my son's official ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) diagnosis. My first thought was: "Ok, sure. That diagnosis happened more than two years ago so … Continue reading “Three Wrongs Do Not An Essay Make” – How one memory derailed my writing plan
In July 2019, I started what was supposed to be a regular series to review books written about ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), a topic close to my heart. That July post also included useful information I put together about different categories of autism books (you can check it out here). Since then, life kinda got in … Continue reading ASD Book Review #2 – How To Be Autistic
Living with my son's autism from day to day teaches me many things - provided I bother to pay attention. Provided I bother to learn. Sadly, I don't. Not enough anyway. For me, arguably the greatest hurdle parenting him all these years, has been to try and come to terms with his fixations. How to … Continue reading What car rides with Caleb taught me about autism and attention
As parents, we've all heard this adage more times than we care to count: For kids, LOVE is spelled T-I-M-E. Cos spending time with them is the best sign that we the parents care and love them. Many have even gone on to qualify that it's not just about Quality time; it's also about Quantity … Continue reading To a child, LOVE’s not only spelled “T-I-M-E”; it’s also spelled….
I don't get it. I just don't get it. It feels like we've been living with Caleb forever now. And for most of that time, we've also lived with his autism and the challenges they entail. By now, I should know all too well that he is who he is, and my role as his … Continue reading Caleb’s school morning routine – a masterclass in ‘fixing’ his dad
11 Jul 2030 Hey Dad, How's it goin'? This year 2030, you turn 60. It’s such a big number I can’t even comprehend what it’s like living so long! How do you do it, Dad? Hahaha... Anyway, happy birthday! I hope you liked the hand-drawn birthday card I gave you last week. Remember when I … Continue reading “Thanks, Dad. Here’s why” – A letter from my son, written….in 2030!
There are three things you'll typically hear in my household on any given day or night: "Caleb! Is it (his chin) dry? C'mon Caleb, swallow your saliva, please. Look, your bib's all wet!!" Night: "Caleb! Come and shh-shh (pee) now before bedtime. Then wear your diaper properly before you get into bed. … Continue reading How soaked bibs, leaked diapers and supervised showers are my daily lessons in acceptance
So what to say about this coming Sunday, my 11th anniversary of celebrating Father's Day as a dad? After all, it's an unfinished journey, so maybe I should wait a few more years to say something meaningful? Or when the kids have all grown up and flown the coop? Yet, as I turn 50 in … Continue reading Please Lord, may I have 50 more Father’s Day?!