Today, I am returning to my guest post series with yet another wonderful entry from a fellow writer friend (If you are keen to be a guest writer on my blog, please check out my guidelines for guest posts by scrolling to the bottom of my About page and share your ideas with me)
Leslie Koh is a former journalist and highly experienced writer. He’s also a firm friend and fellow confidante in all things to do with writing, as well as social trends and current affairs. He first posted on my blog here, and again here.
This is his third one.
Hope you enjoy his writing as much as I do!
It’s been almost two years since I retired, and it’s been a blast. But not all the time. Not when I keep hearing comments about my decision and reading articles that make me wonder: Did I do the right thing? And am I still doing the right thing?
The arguments fall on both sides of the retirement debate. On one side, there’s the usual cold-water pourings and warnings of “You’re too young to retire!”, “Are you sure you’ve thought this through?”, and “Better stay active, else you’ll get dementia”.
On the other, there’s the encouraging cries of “Good for you!”, “You’re more than active enough, don’t worry”, and “Just take it easy, isn’t that what life is all about?”
I believe I’m getting these comments because of my unique situation. For starters, I quit my full-time job at 52, which is well before the retirement age of 64. I don’t have any formal income, but I’m doing freelance work as both writer and editor. Oh, and I’m pursuing a degree course, too. Officially, however, I’m unemployed. Or retired. It usually depends on which option I can find on surveys that I’ve been filling up in exchange for supermarket vouchers.
Unofficially, well, I’m neither busy nor free. I spent a fair proportion of my time doing my school assignments and meeting deadlines. But I also get to take luxurious afternoon naps, meet old friends for lunch and tea, and take long runs in the day.
That’s why, I’ve been asking myself this question lately: Am I actually retired?
Retiree, Semi-retiree… or Not Retired?
Perhaps I’ve found this question hard to answer because I haven’t really sorted out what retirement really means. Officially – at least as the dictionary explains it – it’s leaving one’s job and ceasing the act of employment, usually due to age.
With today’s trends of gig economy, flexible working hours, freelance work, mini- and early retirements, sabbaticals, and contract work, however, it’s a little hard to pin down what retirement looks like in modern times. Especially for men, who are generally expected by much of society to hold down full-time jobs to feed their families.
Is a 65-year-old who’s quit his career job but still works one day a week to help his old boss out, technically a retiree? How about a 35-year-old stay-home dad who spends most of his time looking after the kids, but occasionally takes some freelance work? Or a 40-year-old who has decided to spend the next five years travelling, but may consider returning to employment after? Who’s retired, and who’s not? It can be hard to tell.
In any case, I don’t really care what I’m called. Defining what I am has not been the biggest problem. What bugs me more, is what I should or should not do as a retiree (or freelancer, semi-retiree, or whatever else label fits best).
Active.. or Not Active?
I’ve been hearing much debate in the media, online, as well as in casual conversations about how – and whether – retirees should stay active, keep working, enjoy life, and/or lead purposeful lives.
To all that, I can only say: I’m confused!
When I first quit my full-time job, I looked forward to extended times of leisure, freedom to pursue hobbies such as running; and opportunities to spend more meaningful time with my family and or perhaps do more volunteer work.
But then I began to worry my brain would rot. That I would become bored. That my life would become meaningless and purposeless. All the reasons usually given in favour of leading an active retirement. I also worried about running out of money.
So I enrolled myself in a part-time degree course (shout out to the Skills Future Fund for making this possible!), to do something that would challenge me mentally. And I began taking on freelance projects, for the extra income as well as to stay mentally and socially engaged.
As a result, the past two years have found me adequately occupied – in fact, too occupied at times, I think. It feels like I’m almost always rushing to turn in a school assignment, finish writing an article, or edit one more chapter of a book. So much so that I can’t help but sometimes wonder: Surely retirement shouldn’t be so busy? Perhaps I should take it more easy?
Of course, I can always quit school and stop taking on freelance work. But the kiasu part of me immediately counters this thought with a host of arguments: Then what will you do with your spare time? Won’t you need the money? What if you lose touch with the world? What if your brain rots because you do nothing but sleep, run and meet people to chit-chat?
This internal debate has left me back at square one. Two years after retiring, I’m still wondering how much I should enjoy myself, and how active I should stay.
What Does It Really Mean to Be Active and Purposeful?
These questions have also led me to ponder on what it really means to be “active” and “purposeful”. Society tends to favour being active, perhaps because leisure may sometimes seem like a waste of time and resources. But does active simply mean being busy? And do we mistake busyness as being meaningful and purposeful?
To be sure, I wouldn’t want to spend all my retirement years sleeping, eating and gorging myself on buffets. Even travelling can lose its shine after a while.
But what about catching up with old friends, or spending time with those who are lonely or just need a listening ear? Do these count as “active” or not? And how about volunteer work? Or walking in the forests and communing with nature? Or spending more time communing with God? Do these count as “productive”?
Many of these activities might not seem as “active” or “productive” as working, but I would argue that they are equally purposeful and meaningful, if not more.
It reminds me of an older debate about the value of the work of wives and mothers who stay home to take care of their families and their homes: they were traditionally not seen as contributing to the economy, but today, we know that the work they do is of great, great value. And the same goes for stay-home dads, too.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the answers to any of these questions. I’m still figuring it out, and still finding myself blown back and forth in the debate.
Active Or Not? It’s An Individual’s Choice
Perhaps there are no answers.
Perhaps, it is ultimately a personal, individual choice of what one’s retirement should look like.
Sure, there’s a lot of wisdom in the advice and warnings shared. It’s hard to argue against data showing that isolation and purposeless lives can lead to dementia and depression. Staying active – whatever this means – is good advice. After all, we have been created for a reason.
But there’s also wisdom in learning to enjoy one’s autumn years, and not be sucked into societal pressure to be always “productive”.
One particular Straits Times Forum letter argued the case for this well. Andrew Cheong, who said his days are “beautifully filled” with unhurried mornings, travel, and hobbies, delights in not needing “a grand mission to justify my existence”. Not only that – and more saliently – he believes that society should not prescribe one for him.
“Retirement is fundamentally both an entitlement and a privilege, earned through years of hard work,” he notes. “But more importantly, it is a privilege to choose to do absolutely nothing if we can. We must not squander this privilege by bowing to societal pressure to remain constantly productive or ‘useful’.”
Andrew’s advice for fellow retirees: “Embrace the liberating truth that you are entirely free. Enjoy the quiet joy of doing whatever you want, whenever you want to, completely decoupled from the weight of external judgment.”
Well said, I say!
I might not fully agree with Andrew’s own brand of retirement. But I wholeheartedly applaud his stance: that no-one should tell you when to retire, whether or not you should retire, and what you should do in retirement.
Some might argue for a “balance” between staying active and enjoying the freedom to do nothing. But then just goes back to the same question: What is the right balance? How much of each should one do? And who’s to say what is “right”? That, too, is personal.
Ultimately, like Andrew, I believe that retirement is a gift that each of us should be allowed to cherish in our own personal way. Listen to good advice, heed the warnings, and don’t ignore or downplay the very real consequences of decisions taken. Like it or not, our choice of lifestyle can make a difference.
But don’t let anyone tell you how to lead your life. Decide for yourself: just as your career and your life are yours to lead, so is your retirement.
It belongs to you.
Leslie Koh is a former journalist and a current freelance writer & editor. He loves travelling, eating, running… and of course, writing and editing! Feel free to check out his other writings here.
If you enjoyed reading kelvinsmusings and wish to support future posts, please consider donating.
Just use the button below.
Thank you so much!
